The Mommas have ARRIVED!

Well, I finally did it!  I created a new blog!  Woo hoo!!  I'm so freakin' excited I can barely stand it!

I absolutely love my friends.  They are strong, sassy, opinionated women and mothers that could rule the entire planet collaboratively if we gave them the chance.  They provide me endless amounts of advice and support so I think it's time we all gave back!

The idea was born:  a "Dear Abby" format for the 21st century.  Instead of just one stodgy advice giver, my girlfriends collaboratively will respond with their wit, sarcasm and wisdom to a plethora of questions posed by mom's around the world.  How awesome is that?

The Mouthy Mommas is BORN!  Click our link here The Mouthy Mommas and it will take you right there! We are still a work in progress, so please ignore the fact that we are continuing to develop as we launch our debut!

We hope with this forum we can help other women struggling to deal with housework, raising kids, being married, being divorced, dealing with ex's, dealing with steps and an endless other issues!  We have a very diverse panel of women contributors, which makes me so incredibly happy!  From a grandmother (yep, that would be ME), a mom remarried coparenting, a single mom dealing with an ex and his new wife and more.  From time to time we will also have guest contributors as well to keep it interesting.

We will happily accept questions at either our email, mouthymommas@gmail.com or our twitter account, @themouthymommas, or our blog directly.  No topic is off limits, so just ask away!

Please share our page with your friends as well! 

Thanks so much to all of you for following my personal blog (which of course I will continue) as well as the new one.  I hope to lighten your day with stories of my journey and the journeys of others!

Happy Thursday, friends!

Jen

Even Superwoman Gets Tired.. and Bitchy

Man I love my friends.  I swear I could blog for 14 years and have new material every single day never once mentioning anything about my own life.  And the BEST part is that they are fantastic sports and let me blog about them!  Sort of.  Well, not really.  But they do forgive me, because they love me unconditionally.  Until they stop I guess.

For protection for my friend, I won't name her today.  But her story is like everyone else's really so it's not as though this will out her.  Or maybe it will.

Ever have those moments when your hair is half wet, the dog pees on the carpet, the kids won't get dressed (or are half dressed), the phone is ringing and you only have 5 minutes to get the kids out the door to their morning destination?  Oh EVERY morning, you say?  Yep, me too.  So I guess this blog really could be about me!

And the one common denominator?  Your hubs is asleep upstairs because HIS alarm didn't go off yet to remind him that he needed to get ready for work.  His only duty for the morning.

Ugh.

Girls ~ I hear this NON-STOP.  We are "doing it all".  What the hell?  How exactly did we get here?  Why do we think we have to be Superwoman?

We are all worn out.  No wonder we go to work with two different colored shoes on.  No wonder we forgot to put mascara on one eye.  No wonder the dog peed on the floor.  We are overscheduled, overbooked and overworked.  Oh, and this is all before we even go to our OTHER jobs (for those of us working mom's).  No SAH mom's - don't freakin' attack me.  I know you work, too!  You just can't get fired at your job for not coming in on time like we can.

So we wait.  We bottle it all up for days and days... sometimes weeks or months.  We hold out as long as we humanly can.

Until we can't.  And then we BLOW.  Massive explosion, serious throwdown.  Tantrums, screaming at our hubs to get off their asses and help us.  Because we just can't take it anymore.

And then we are calm again.

No wonder we are often compared to Linda Blair.  Come on girls, we are SO better than this!

So what's it gonna take?  To do lists for the hubs and kids?  Sister wives?  How in the world can we stop the insanity and get a god damn break?

We can't.  It's the life we chose when we procreated.  And signed up for a job.  And got married. 

If anyone has delicious ideas on how we can co-exist better with all this insanity, I'd love to hear it.  Especially my "older" readers that have somehow survived this mess!

Happy Wednesday, friends!

Jen

RUN AWAY!

Ever have an experience and later dream about it? One of my girlfriends does quite often. If she thinks it, she dreams it. Of course never in the same way it occurred. Must be the bath salts she's experimenting with lately.  I think I can find a meeting for her somewhere for that...

I can't help but share this although she would DIE if I named her so for her protection I'll leave her anonymous.

She waited YEARS before eating Chinese food. It's just something she doesn't really like and it tends to bug her belly. Although her fam loves it she avoids it at all cost.

Except last weekend.

She gave in to fam pressure and went with them to eat Chinese. She stuck with Lo Mien, thinking noodles should be okay on her digestive system. Um... apparently not.

 

After we hung out later that evening, she left fairly abruptly needing to get home to her own potty. Ugh. Who loves that?

THE CULPRIT.....

Now for the funny: she dreamed about me that night, probably because we were hanging out earlier. We were running together, which is funny in that she does NOT run. I started chasing her and apparently my arms and legs turned into lo mien noodles, trying desperately to grasp at her.

I could not make this shit up.

Apparently I was going to kill with my lo mien arms.

I love my gfriends- endless amount of material!  I'm actually quite jealous, to be honest.  I haven't had a dream in years.  I think my life is far to exciting in my conscious state that it requires complete shut down when I'm unconscious.

Happy dreaming (and Tuesday), friends!

Jen

What the hell is LOVE?

The manchild is taking on yet another athletic feat: tennis. Yep, as I type this I am sitting in the car awaiting tennis camp to finish.

I know absolutely NOTHING about tennis except you have to endlessly chase yellow, fuzzy balls and slam them with a guitar looking racket. Sweet. This should wear him out.

Right before football camp, by the way. Coach Boehm should love that.

It's so fun though to watch him take on new challenges. He has absolutely no fear when it comes to trying something physical. Ask him to try guacamole and he will throw a giant tantrum, but somehow meeting all new people and trying something new is right in his wheelhouse. He's his mother's child.

He has parked himself right up against the net, front row. He is absorbing every single word Coach Klein is saying. You would think he was studying for the bar.

I'm sure he will want some giant, personal tennis lessons in his future that require me to refinance the house.

This stuff better pay off someday!

Happy Monday, friends!!

Jen

It's NOT a wart!

Ugh.  Getting older straight up SUCKS sometimes.

When you are in your 20's, you confer with your girlfriends about hot guys, cool clothes, fantastic bars and how lame your parents can be.

In your 30's, you sympathize with your girlfriends on marital issues, having and raising kids and the cost of pretty much everything.

So what happens in our 40's?  I have no idea.  I just joined the club a few months ago.  But in my short time here, I'm starting to get a bit cranky.

Stuff on my body hurts more than it used to.

My digestive system takes full out assault on me when I eat things it doesn't like.

Hair grows where I don't want it to and NOT where I want more.

I'm taking a jillion vitamins and shots, which never happened before.

And that's just the start.  My hormones are taking revenge on me for an otherwise pleasant lifetime with them.  I'm not an overly sensitive person (okay, maybe sometimes) but lately I cry at the drop of a hat.  Davis crossing the half marathon finish line?  Bawled.  The ending to MIB 3 with little guy today?  Cried like a baby.  Oh lord, someone stage an intervention.  What's going to happen when something that requires serious emotion occurs? 

I'm not really to much of a crier.  Hubs may disagree but his assessment isn't fair - he never cries.  Well, unless he's watching Rudy.  Or My Dog Skip.  Or the scene from Remember the Titans where Denzel takes the kids to the cemetery during training camp.

Last weekend I slathered so much suntan oil on that I was rewarded this week with none other than a stupid blemish.  On my forehead.  Right where everyone can see it.

Little guy has been freaking out about it.  

"Mom, I think you have a wart on your face.  We should go get that checked out."

Thanks buddy.  I'm right on it.

At this rate, I'm pretty much comparable to a 14 year old teenager.  Fantastic.

Maybe putting on work clothes and heading to the office tomorrow will remind me I'm really a grown up.  If not, there is always ice cream.  And a good dermatologist.

Happy Sunday, friends!

Jen

Super Stud

This is my first official blog from my PHONE! Technology is AMAZING if you ask me. I can totally remember my first email account, at work of course. Because I didn't have my own personal computer until I turned 30. Yep, you read that right!

As I figure out my phone blog, Davis is clipping away on the road. Less than one year after spinal fusion surgery, he's running his first ever half marathon. At 42. Holy crap he's a super stud!

He has always been so supportive of my love of running. We blame our great friend PParks.

I had never ran one step in my life, except for one season of basketball in middle school. I was introduced to suicides and decided that was quite enough. I made fun of cross country runners in their shorty shorts. How stupid to run that far!

4 years ago we moved into our 'hood. Lots of runners. Younger than us. Fitter than us. I was coming off of 15 years of smoking off and on, 50 pounds overweight and only owned mowing tennis shoes. I had never heard of "running" shoes. I had no idea what Body Glide was. What the hell is a hydration pack?

But PParks encouraged the first tie of shoes, along with my gfriend Kimmie. She held my hands when I almost threw up the first time I ran a quarter mile. It took two years to get to where I could finally breathe. My first 5k was in 49 minutes.

Now, hubs is in love. He tied his first pair of running shoes after finishing Insanity in January. He ran his first 5k. Then a Brew to Brew leg of 5.3 miles. Then Warrior Dash. Then his first 10k. And now, 359 days post surgery, his first half.

I knew he had it in him. It was just hidden underneath painful injury and recovery.

I'm so glad he let it out. And my pride runneth over.

Way to go, Davis!! Many more steps to take, I'm sure! I think Gobbler has a full marathon in November....

Happy Saturday, friends!!


Jen

FRIDAY FAVES!

Another week down!  I love these short weeks ~ four days off last weekend and now it's here already again.  Our summer is filled with the pool, baseball and family fun.  Can't wait for another weekend of it!  Oooh - and how could I possibly forget... it's hubs 1/2 marathon this weekend!  I'm incredibly sad to not be running with him but hopefully he can hear my voice as he's running cheering him on every step of the way! 

Here are my faves for the week... enjoy!

FAVE TRAVEL SPOT

Oh yeah, bring it on!  I am in love with this spot... check out that beach!  Italy... someday.

Krupp Walk, Capri, Italy

FAVE MODE OF TRANSPORTATION

Ever since I was a little girl and my dad brought home a moped, I've wanted one.  Little did I know it was his mature, conservative plan to buy up each year to a bigger bike, teaching himself how to ride eventually a giant one with luggage on it and crap.  Ugh.  But in my heart, I have always, always wanted a Vespa.  Goes right along with my second fave of transportation, a beloved Karmann Ghia.  Both in pink, of course.  One can dream.

FAVE SASSY QUOTE

Hee hee....

FAVE CRAFTY ITEM

I love this idea!  My G girls and I made a going away present for CB one year with her concert tickets but I like this idea better.  Could save a LOT more and continuously add to it.  Hubs and I hit a ton of concerts each year and always save the stubs!

FAVE YUMMO

Hubs and I are ADDICTED to avocados right now.  We seriously just chop them up and stick them on everything.  No guac needed!  This looks so yummo, but I wonder if it would be mushy?  Have to get some firm ones.  Click here for the recipe:  Stuffed Avocados

FAVE MOTIVATOR

I will get back on the road.  Very, very soon!

FAVE WATER FUN

I have GOT to pick this up!  My neighbs are the best - we hang out outside all summer long from sun up to sun down.  It's the BEST!  I'm so glad we don't have a lake place or leave every weekend.  I would miss all this fun.  Even though this might look like a kiddo activity, I know a couple of guys that would hijack it from them... you know who you are!

FAVE FASHION

I absolutely love wedges.  Especially now that I can't wear them.  Stupid ankles!  I can't wait to get my feet back into some sassy shoes for the summer!

FAVE FAT BURNER

Okay girls - it's time.  I will do it if you will do it!  June 1st to August 31st, I am going to do these every day.  I want tank top arms!!  Who's with me?  Come on, it doesn't look THAT hard?!?!

Happy Friday, friends!!

Jen