May the Force be with You...

Christmas Eve.  Peace and Joy.  Quiet tranquility.

Yeah, right.

Every woman I know is utterly exhausted.  Party after party, gift after gift, dinner after dinner.  Women hold families together with their endless planning, shopping and hosting.

And don't forget the three F's... Forced Family Fun.

Navigating family gatherings is often tricky.  Forced smiles and laughs fill the room.  Awkward non-descript conversations take place.  Past emotions always seem to sit right in the back of the throat.

It's amazing to me that people that don't even speak to one another all year come together awkwardly and pretend all is calm and bright.  Well - it is all about the children.  We should put on a good show for them.

I'm so super thankful I don't endure that pressure.  After 20 years of marriage and 42 years of life, I finally figured it out.  I spend my time with the ones I love and who love me.  I don't do anything I wouldn't do any other time of the year and I completely refuse to act.

I told my mother in law to shut her pie hole Sunday.  She smacked me and ran from the room while my sister and I laughed.  And then she forgave me, as always.  Because I am who I am.

I love my little family.  I love our genuine behavior.  I love that we are imperfect, off balance and a little crazy.  I love that we tease and love each other completely.  It really makes my heart warm and makes the season all that much better.

And I love that this time every year the kids have to measure each other...against Pooh (or Pop or Poppy, depending on the grandchild).  I have a feeling the Little Guy is gonna trump Dad in a few short years!

In just a few short days the west coast kids will arrive!  I cannot wait to get my arms around all of them and squeeze tight.  It has been 10 long weeks since I saw them and during the holidays that always seem so much longer.  I can't wait to smell little Miss A, who has already changed so much.  I hope I haven't packed on to much weight to chase Nugget around the house.  And I hope we can fill up the kid's love buckets enough to sustain them until our next visit.

Have a very Merry Christmas Eve, friends!

Jen

Unexpected Fulfillment

I try very, very hard to follow the Four Gift Rule for my little guy.  Not in that he only receives 4 gifts, but that they have relevance to one of the four rules.  As a reminder (or in case you've never heard), here they are:

So each year, I shop for clothes (easy, anything with an Under Armour logo works for him).  I shop at Barnes & Noble (again, easy... he LOVES to read and loves all things Wimpy Kid).  His want list is SUPER easy - he only writes down ONE thing that he wants more than anything in the entire world.  Simple, solved.

It's the needs list that I struggle with. What does he really need?  To be honest with you... not much.  Little guy has never needed for much in his life.  I feel fortunate for that and proud because of it but I worry that there is a key element of life that he isn't learning.  Or maybe I should just shut up and be happy that I am able to meet his needs.  I certainly don't intend to make him struggle but I do want him to know the difference between a need and a want.

On Christmas morning, little guy pounced down the stairs.  The excitement in his face was almost unbearable to see - he could hardly contain himself.  As he turned the corner into the living room, he saw his brand new Playstation 3 with a big red bow around it and squealed with delight.  He fell upon the floor and did some weird break dance looking move (yes, I totally tried it in the 80's.  So what?!).  We sat and watched him silently for moments, smiling inside and out.  It was awesome.  He asked if he could fire it up and of course we said "GO FOR IT!" as I trotted to the kitchen to make some coffee.

He loved his gift.  He still does.  He is in total heaven.  But it wasn't until Christmas night that I watched his need unveil itself to me and be fulfilled in front of my very eyes.

First off though - I was quite concerned about the games he received this year to go with his PS3.  Shooting games.  War games.  In light of Connecticut (and all the other evils in the world right now), I have been really worried about him being influenced by these games.  Becoming a recluse.  Being that boy that hides in front of the screen for hours, desensitizing himself to death and destruction.  Genuinely worried about it.  

It took a great deal of discussion to help me find calm with it, from both hubs and Bubba.  

Stage right, Jeremy.  We had chat off and on all day on Christmas Day.  I was so sad we weren't together - our first Christmas season apart from one another in 23 years.  Ugh.  My heart was breaking.  Kate was sending me pictures of Eli and I would laugh and then tear at every single one - so sad to be missing his little joys, his laughs, his excitement. 

Jeremy gave us all the best present ever and fulfilled little guy's need list perfectly Christmas day.  In the stuff Santa brought, little guy was given a headset.  Online access to that game I hate.  But with that, came online access to Bubba.

Yep, he could talk to Jeremy.  And not only did they talk, but Jeremy directed Coop through the game, protecting him from hearing other people's smack talk, teaching how to play and providing him guidance in only a way a big brother can.

They played for hours together.  Each time I walked by the living room, I smiled at Cooper.  My heart was so full, so happy.

His needs were met by his big brother this Christmas.

I'm a lucky woman.  I didn't pull it off on my own but God unveiled it to me. It's crazy how that happens!

Have a great Thursday, friends!
Jen

Bah, Humbug!

That's what it's all about, isn't it? That's what it's always been *about*. Gifts, gifts... gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts. You wanna know what happens to your gifts? They all come to me. In your garbage. You see what I'm saying? In your *garbage*. I could hang myself with all the bad Christmas neckties I found at the dump. And the avarice... 

 The avarice never ends! "I want golf clubs. I want diamonds. I want a pony so I can ride it twice, get bored and sell it to make glue." Look, I don't wanna make waves, but this *whole* Christmas season is... 

 ...stupid, stupid, stupid!

The Grinch

I am so sad that I have fallen so far behind reading other's blogs.  It's something I vow to catch up over the holiday season as best I can.  I love reading stories of family togetherness, seasonal celebrations and overall joy being spread all over the place.... even when I don't always feel that way.

 

Christmas is by far my hubs' fave season of the year.  He absolutely LOVES giving gifts, watching the surprise and excitement when they are opened and the true adoration we all have when he gives us something we love.  And he's a REALLY good shopper.  He gives complete thought to every single purchase it makes, its intended use and meaning and purpose.  He doesn't buy "stuff" that will sit on a shelf, sit in a drawer or be unused.  It's just simply not his style.

 

Which is one of the biggest things I love about him.  We don't buy for each other often but when we do, I always win.  He, unfortunately, seems to always lose.

 

I suck at presents.  And shopping.  And wrapping. 

All of the above.

 

Christmas, much to hubs demise, is my least fave holiday.  In many ways I actually hate it.

 

The shopping can kiss my ass.  I hate consumers running around stores grabbing up crap to give away hoping it will be liked.  I hate spending money on basically everything unless I can see the end result directly.  I hate guessing what someone might want or need.

 

 

And that's about it.  I'm a NEED based girl.  I only buy what I actually need.  I don't spend hundreds of dollars on my hair, nails, clothes, shoes or even car.  I just don't do it.  But this time of year, I'm supposed to.

 

Which is why I love hubs so much.  Because he gives me things he knows I would NEVER buy for myself, things that I don't need, things that I will love.

 

Just as I've done in years past - I will promise to try really, really hard this time.  I will buy presents without worrying if the other person will love it or not.  I will try to be jolly all of the days and not scornful about the stupid returns lines, rude shoppers and zombiefied sales clerks.

 

This year was already going to be rough on me with Bubba and fam out west but I recently learned my brother and fam are moving out east... in a week.  We didn't see each other often but somehow knowing he will be gone and I can't go visit him easily will be somewhat strange to me.  At least we all have cell phones.

 

Bah humbug, friends.  I'm trying - really I am!  Have a great Monday (being jolly).

Jen

Audition for Jackass

Just call me Ms. Graceful.

It's not unusual for me to have non-descript boo boo's that I can't defend.  A bruise here, a cut there.  I'm always pushing beyond my boundaries, taking risks (mostly unnecessary) and being overly confident of my physical abilities.

Who knew Christmas decorating could be a combat sport?

Each year following Thanksgiving I begin prepping my house for an annual holiday open house.  It's a simple gathering where I invite my friends that make stuff (or sell stuff) to come and display their wares to anyone that wants to come shop.  This year will be the 5th year I'm holding the event and I do absolutely love it.

Except the prep.  The prep can kiss my ass, quite frankly.

Thanks to my fantastic mother in law who owned a beautifully giant house and decorated to the hilt, I have become the recipient of a zillion yards of greenery, wreaths and the like.  I transform our house into a winter wonderland because of her!  In addition to hanging all of these garlands, I am simultaneously moving furniture from the first to second floor to make room for my friend's tables of goods.  

And this year, Bubba isn't here to help me.  Guess who got the job?  You got it... the 11 year old.  Little guy was so excited.... well, not exactly.

Every movement to take down the fall decorations from on top of my kitchen cabinets made him nervous.  He shouted "momma, be careful!" every time I placed my foot on the granite counter.  We made it all the way around the kitchen to the last cabinet and I was very confident we were good to go.  I'd done this feat a million times, switching between spring/summer and fall/winter decorations ever since we moved here.

As I placed my foot on the granite, I placed my left hand on the crown molding on top of the cabinet for security.  I reached for the last item - a glass bowl filled with wine corks - and twisted just enough to allow my foot to slip.  The next 5 seconds were in slow motion... but little guy's words and terror on his face are burned in my memory.  He started screaming as I went down, pulling the crown molding in my hand, crashing everything on the counter top in my path.  Faster than a bullet from a gun.  I'm not even quite sure what I hit but I can say this morning with confidence that it was roughly everything but my head... thank God.   I have cuts, bruises and overall I'm in massive muscle pain.... everywhere.  Nice.

And I'm not even done decorating yet.  And Hubs brought home an 8 foot tree last night.

It's a good thing we have ibuprofen.  And Jim Beam.

But somehow, by some grace of God, my Nana's china sat less than 2 feet from my dismount and it was left unscathed.

There is good in everything bad!

Have a fantastic Saturday, friends.  Try to stay in one piece!  

Jen