You want me to do WHAT?!

Ooh, I feel feisty today.  I go through this every once in awhile.  Who really knows why, I'm almost 40 and haven't figured it out yet.  I get this "Leave me alone, I've got this, I don't need your help, I don't need you to tell me what to do, I don't need anything!" attitude that makes everyone run away from me.  Except those that don't of course :).  Yep, I have LOTS of people that love my rebellious side.  Good thing it only comes and goes and doesn't stick around very long.

Sums it up perfectly:

I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not, with a goat.
I will not eat them in the rain.
I will not eat them on a train.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car!  You let me be!
I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I will not eat them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them ANYWHERE.
I do not like green eggs and ham!
I do not like them Sam-I-am.

Fair warning!

Learn on your own time!

I have a lot of friends that are teachers.  I haven't really ever asked them what their actual job contract (if you call it that) says and how it works.  I think it's time that I ask that question so if you are one and are reading this, please feel free to respond!

According to national statistics, there are approximately 3 million primary and secondary teachers in the United States. As of 2009, US adult population was 312,560,000.  With an estimated rate of 10% unemployment (stabbing at it), that would indicate that 31,256,000 people (approximately) don't currently work in the US.  All of this is to say that 1% of the working adults in the United States hold a job in primary and secondary education.  So for us math majors (NOT), that would indicate that the other 99% of the working population in this country does NOT have a job in education.

Okay, I'll get to the point.  I need to understand why schools, who at least in my area of the country work 9 months a year (August - May), have so many days off of work DURING the school year.  It is not unusual for our district to give an average of three days a month off for "in-service days".  For those of you unaware, this means the teachers have planning days, additional education for them to do their jobs.  Apparently this requires them to take off of work to do so.  This is the only industry in which I believe does this.  Typically, most of us are required to squeeze in additional training and learning opportunities outside of our 8 hour, 40 hour a week paychecks.

It's not as though they are not awarded PTO (paid time off) in addition to the generous holiday schedule, particularly around Christmas.  I know you are probably stressed out teaching our kids.  Heck, I would need every FRIDAY off if I had to deal with them full time!  But each time you have a day off is another interruption in the learning cycle they experience.

In Japan, the number of teachers is 416,823 with a population of 127,076,183.  Teachers in that country represent 3.3% of the population.  The school year in Japan begins in April and classes are held from Monday to either Friday or Saturday, depending on the school. The school year consists of three terms, which are separated by short holidays in spring and winter, and a one month long summer break. "In-service" days are required of teachers independent of the school schedule.  In secondary education (our middle school), most school days start at 7 am and end at 6 pm.  It's no wonder we struggle to achieve international jobs (or quite frankly US jobs) with this level of competition in the world.  And this is just one country!

So on Tuesday, November 8th, little guy's teacher is going to get smarter and work harder when she returns.  Hmmm, we shall see.

Momma Love

Today is the anniversary of the fateful call I received 7 years ago that my momma passed away.  I remember exactly where I was, what I was doing, what I was wearing.  It's funny how small things will stick in your brain from a single moment in time but you can't remember what is on your grocery list on your fridge at home when you are at the store. 

As the baby of the family and separated by 6 years from my next older sibling, I spent a lot of my childhood being obnoxious.  I was loud, boisterous and sassy... but mostly only to my momma.  To my father, I was obedient, respectful and quiet.  This duality has served me fairly well as an adult.  I can channel my focus, competitive drive and "need to succeed" from my father into my career while I am my truest self in my personal life.  It's strange how that happens ~ when your kids grow up they will take on manifestations of you that you never imagined until you see it in them.  My oldest Bubba is a lot like me as well (the momma side of me)... always striving to be his truest self.

As for my teens, I was a nightmare.  My folks divorcing when I was 16 didn't help matters.  I rebelled significantly; evidenced by my marriage and baby by 18.  But it was always my momma that toed the line and taught me how to become a woman and a mother, to be empathetic to others and be true to myself.

Those that know my momma will remember her as honest, true, a bit sassy (okay, a LOT sassy), opinionated and loving.  She would give you the shirt off her back if you needed it but would be straightforward in identifying your mistakes so you wouldn't need it again.  But if you ever did, she was the first person to arrive. 

The older I get, the closer I become my mother.  I strive for the day when I don't have a duality in my personality.  When I can be exactly me, no holds barred in any aspect of my life.  My d-day will help me to achieve that goal.  My momma was a minimalist without trying to be.  Sure, she collected lots of things.  But money was not her truest intention.  Loving her family was her number one goal... and she nailed it. 

I miss her unconditional love every single day of my life and I'm certain I will until I join her in heaven.  I am so blessed to have had such a great woman in my life.  I pray that I have the strength, courage and wisdom to be even half of the mother she was to her four children.

Oh no, not again...

I was sadden to learn last night that a friend of Bubba's died suddenly on Monday.  Ugh.  This will make the third young man we know to lose his life suddenly.

Death is so imminent.  Yet when it happens, it seems we are never prepared.  All to often we hear people say the words "I just wish I had more time..."  Maybe the pure shock of the loss causes us to feel an immediate anxiety of the inability to see them again.  Or maybe we really do wish we had more time.

What is the appropriate age to die?  Some would say "I want to be 100 years old, in perfect health and just go to bed and not wake up."  Well, not some.  A LOT of people would think that is desirable. 

I lost my momma a few years ago.  Looking back now, I was so lucky to have her as long as I did.  She was a 40 year smoker, didn't exercise a day in her life, weighed MAYBE 100 lbs at 5'5 and had pulmonary and cardiovascular diseases.  Statistically she made it way longer than she should have.  Although I was really given 5 hard long years of illness to prepare, when she passed away I was completely shocked.  "Hmmm, I wonder why that is?  Not just because she is my mother, but truthfully I felt guilt and regrets for "losing time".

My point is this:  don't wait for people to die to learn the lesson that you wish you had more time.  Spend the time with them NOW.  Make time in your life.  If it is somebody outside of your every day life, make it a point to connect with them and make certain in each interaction you TELL them they make a difference in your life.  Maybe if we start to live life in that manner we will find that when people pass we can more easily move through the inevitable process.  Oh sure, sadness will occur.  But regrets? Maybe not.

It's Official!

I've been anxiously awaiting disclosing some news in our family until all of the pieces were finalized so now... IT'S OFFICIAL!

Bubba, my oldest, has enlisted in the United States Navy.  Whew.  Just typing that makes my heart race.  It's such a huge deal.

He isn't the first in the family to consider this action.  He comes from a long line of Navy servicemen:  my grandfather, my dad and both of my brothers precede him.  None of my family members made it their career; however my oldest sib probably would have.  Another blog.

Hindsight always being 20/20, this has probably been a logical choice for Bubba for as long as I can remember.  When he was a young boy, the most influential person (other than Hubs) to him was a man we met his 5th grade year of Pop Warner football.  Oooh, I DISLIKED that man very, very much.  He was a "screamer".  Borderline degrading, he spent a lot of time picking on the kids (mom's perception).  He was constantly in the earhole of their helmets telling them to get off their a$$es and work harder!  I did not like it ~ how could you yell at 11 year olds like that?  His own son was afraid of him!

But to Bubba, he was the best coach he ever had (and he had A LOT... very athletic).  He really responded well to that drive and determination.  He would even laugh when coach got a little mouthy... wasn't intimidated at ALL by this man.  See, I should have known then what I know now. 

Obviously, with Bubba married with little nugget it makes this journey a little more complicated than had he gone right when he graduated.  But he had his own difficult things to learn first.  He had worked for years to get the attention of his bio dad, making choices and decisions he thought would make him proud.  In the end, he learned some relationships are just not meant to be and once he understood that he freed himself to become the man he was destined to become.

I am overwhelmed with pride, excitement, happiness and gratitude to my son for taking this important step.  I am also nervous, anxious, scared and intimidated about the journey.  And of course, I love my perfect daughter and little nugget and want them to be happy, adjusted and content as well.

It will be an amazing few years for our family.  He won't be leaving right away for bootcamp so we have some time to adjust to it all.  The USN works very diligently with married recruits to help accommodate the family (at least thus far).  That is so critical to all of us.

Onward, Future Sailor Cunningham!  I love you so incredibly much!!

It's MY fault?

I'm not very political in nature.  Ok, some of you would disagree.  But there is a difference between being politically minded and OPINIONATED.  Oh, I got that one down perfectly, thanks to my Jackson family southern Missouri roots.  I will certainly join in the crowd on Facebook passive aggressively and make my political opinions be known.

I call myself "fiscally conservative with socially liberal tendencies".  Right, whatever.  The real truth is that I believe what I believe and I'm passionate about it (like everything else in my life).  If it is in my moral code to believe it is true, then it is.  Again, thanks Momma for that stubbornness!

So I just don't get our society anymore.  If you look around, there are MILLIONS of people picketing, asking for more, feeling shorted somehow by our government.  Hmmm, very interesting to me.  I've got an idea:  why in the hell are you waiting for an institution to help you do anything?  Land of the free?  If you want something badly enough... just go get it!  Hard work has never stopped someone from reaching their dreams in our country.  Yet so many citizens keep their arms stretched out looking for a hand out.  Or better yet... someone to blame when they DON'T achieve their dreams.

Look ~ don't blast me.  I do know that there are some unfortunate souls in our society that do not possess the mental capacity to participate in decisions that affect them.  But for the by and large, they do.  The majority of Americans are able bodied and can work hard for what they want, there is just a huge sampling that has entitlement behavior and thinks someone else (the MAN) should hand it to them instead. 

Whatev.  My opinion?  Stop picketing and go get a damn job.  Push your way up and make whatever you want to find your happiness.  With a degree, without a degree, with experience, without experience, with legs, without legs.... your success is completely equivalent to the amount of effort you want to expend.  'Nough said.

What's your Order?

I am fascinated with birth order.  Almost as much as astrology.  Okay, no... I love to study signs more than birth order.  But still ~ it fascinates me.

My original sister-in-law (I say that because there have been 3 1/2 from that one sibling of mine) once told me about a book many years ago.  The Birth Order Book:  Why You Are the Way You Are by Kevin Leman.  It is an AWESOME book.  In fact, I just put it on my Kindle to read again and refresh my memory. 

Certain truths are consistent with birth order.  First borns tend to take one of two roads:  either extremely self sufficient or extremely rebellious depending on parenting style.  They tend to be the achievers in the family, the leaders, or they cause all sorts of problems bucking the system of the household.  A lot of the final outcome depends on how many kids come behind them.

Middle borns are the "fixers" of the family.  They want peace and tranquility among all the other members.  They often blend in, don't make to much trouble (although don't always succeed beyond on the first born if an over-achiever) and they definitely want to "keep the peace".

And the BOFs (babies of the family)... yep, this is me.  Again, depends on how many are ahead of them, but these great kids tend to be a bit selfish, a bit rowdy.  I like to call us "spicy" (or saucy, whichever comes to mind first).  Opinionated, typically loud (to get attention) and sassy. 

In my house, I created a bit different environment.  I have really raised two only children.  Ah, the only's.  These kids take on several traits of a first born and a BOF combined:  they are independent thinkers, typically act older than they really are age wise, but they also sometimes act spoiled and a little selfish since they have no other siblings.  My kiddos are 12 years apart, so Bubba was raised as an only and little guy is now being raised as an only. 

But even with the spread, I LOVE how close my boys have become.  We eliminated any sibling rivalry.  Little guy absolutely WORSHIPS Bubba.  Bubba thinks little guy is a bit spoiled but I think he is entertained by him sometimes.  And now Bubba is taking on a new adventure and I'm a bit worried about little guy.

My closest sibling left home to enter the military when I was 11 years old.  Little guy is now 10.  Granted, Bubba hasn't lived at home for almost 4 years now but still, I'm a bit concerned of how little guy will react.  I'm hoping to keep him SUPER involved, since I wasn't with my sib.  Maybe that way he will understand the gravity and feel proud and not left behind.

Grab the book if this entices you.  It goes into much more detail on not only birth order but gender order as well.  It really is amazingly accurate!