Wednesday, May 21, 2014

It's About Time

All it takes is a word of encouragement.  One word.  Sometimes a spoken word is even unnecessary.  A glance, a gentle touch of the hand or a smile can achieve the same outcome.
When I was a little girl, I thought 40 was such an old age.  Being the baby of the family with two brothers and a disabled sister above me, my mom was tired.  REALLY tired.  I honestly don't remember that many days of her life when she wasn't tired.  She didn't really complain, but it was evident by the dark circles under her eyes and non-stop coffee consumption.
What I didn't know at the time was that she wasn't only tired, she was stressed.  Absolutely and completely.  The efforts of running a household, raising children, running a business and pleasing her spouse had worn down the energetic, spry and sassy woman she was just a short decade before I came along.  She never really recharged her batteries, didn't really talk to any friends or family about her feelings, concerns or challenges.  She endured it all... privately.  She was brilliantly strong in that way. 
Over the course of the last six months, I have a much greater appreciation for how she felt.  Exasperated may be the only word I can use to describe it.  Life experiences have weighed heavily on me and my family lately.  I am not one to complain.  I don't really even want to talk about my own challenges.  I take responsibility for my own and just don't feel it's necessary.  It's nothing we can't handle. We always overcome.  Nonetheless, it's been exhausting.  Stress plays an incredibly powerful role over a human being.  It can be absolutely debilitating, leaving us feeling hopeless.  And tired.
A great friend of mine recently shared she is getting married this summer and it was the perfect conduit to create happiness.  My girlfriends and I assembled quickly to plan a gathering for us to celebrate with her.  As we sat laughing and crying this past weekend over our long friendship with one another and life events recent and past, I realized something really important:  none of us are really alone if we don't want to be.  All it takes is the ability to share our vulnerability with one another, to find those individuals that will give you that one word you need at the precise moment that you need it.

I found that this weekend.  I was enveloped with love and support from my girlfriends whom I don't spend near enough time visiting.  By the end of the weekend, I felt at peace.  Even with few hours of sleep, I finally felt rested. 
Sometimes you just need a girlfriend to giggle with and lighten the load.
I haven't blogged for a long time, mostly because I refuse to use my writing as a dumping spot for all of my trials and tribulations.  That's held in a private journal.  This space is my place of comfort and joy, to share moments of joy and sometimes moments of sadness and be true to myself.  I'm excited to get back though.  It's truly healing for me to write and gives me a slight feeling of control in an uncontrollable world.
So thanks for coming back to visit.

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