Thursday, May 03, 2012

My Big Mouth

They say when you decide you want to run a marathon, the first step you should take is telling everyone once you sign up.  The accountability factor, I suppose.  The personal dedication and integrity of your word, possibly.  In short ~ once you sign up, you gotta do what you say you're gonna do.

I love to write.  I write everywhere I can.  Not only because I have an opinion but I absolutely love the feedback I get (good and bad) when I voice something.  Especially something I'm passionate about.

So here it is.  I'm going to combine the two.  I'm going to start to write. 

Of course I will still blog here, but I'm going to head out on that tiny limb and really start to write.  And I have a lot to say.

Even though this is my blog and I can say whatever I feel, I still temper it quite a bit.  I do know people that read it from time to time that my opinions may hurt their feelings.  And as independent as I am, I'm not really that mean.  Well, sort of.

My biggest passion as all of you know is my kids.  I have sacrificed everything else for them (and continue to do so).  I miss some of my own things because my kids have stuff going on.  I won't even address the financial implications of kiddos.  But I love them totally unconditionally, all three of them, and they totally get that.

I cannot sit back any longer and keep my mouth shut about the atrocities I see around me towards biological mothers and coparenting.  It troubles me so much that I awake in the night by it sometimes.  It's CRAZY that there are a zillion kids being raised in threatening, bullied, selfish situations ~ ones that the bio moms cannot control.  They have to sit back helplessly and watch it unfold for their children.  I can relate with my own experiences coparenting after divorce and I will most certainly be using my own anecdotes.  Oh, I have a LOT to talk about on that front.  Sure, I'll change the names to protect the innocent... if it makes them feel better that way.  

There a zillion blogs, books and the like about how awful it is for step mother's to come into a marriage and have to deal with the biological mother of their spouse's kids, but nothing seems to point out how impossible it is for a mother to sit back and watch her kids be bullied, treated unfairly and subjected to crazy ass step mothers simply because the father cannot be alone and/or choose wisely... and clearly NOT put their children first.

I'm putting the children first and putting my voice on paper.

The greatest news?  There are a few small publishing firms that I'm certain will help me!  And of course SO many online tools to distribute my words as well.  So off I go.  We shall see.  May take years, but the word is finally going to get out.

As it should.

BTW - I will be setting up a forum for moms in this situation to comment, provide their stories and feedback and personal anecdotes of their own shortly.  It will be confidential and only for my eyes so I am hopeful you will continue to share your stories with me.  Nothing is ever insignificant in this process!

Happy Thursday, friends!



  1. There are plenty of support groups for biological mothers, especially the family court systems. Why are you threatened so much by step mothers? You write your experience with your son's step mom was fantastic. How did you accomplish this? Use your powers for good instead of trying to tear children from their fathers.

  2. Cinderella? Snow White? I think you're late on writing a book about the evil step mother.

  3. Thanks so much for your comments, Anonymous friend! It's quite possible I wasn't articulate regarding my intent. My perspective will not focus on stepmothers, although I presume you are one as you seem a bit defensive. My perspective is the children who suffer from being alienated ultimately by their bio fathers who remarry and selfishly do not put their kids first. And you are correct, I do have a great relationship with my son's stepmother. Unfortunately I cannot say the same about his 2nd and 3rd stepmothers. I have first hand experience with this iny own life as well. Just know my words are not always my own- they are for those who cannot speak up.

  4. You are amazing. I wish I could bottle your never ending energy and ambition!

  5. Thanks Jen! It's really just my attention deficit that pushes me to constantly change myself. I wish I could say it was my evolvement but sometimes I think I change just to change (like moving the furniture around). Appreciate your kind words!