My Promise

"Patience is a virtue".  I want to know right now who the hell said that.  Because I'm going to back over them with my car.  Rapidly.

Patience is certainly NOT my strong suit.  I actually have to will myself to be patient, which isn't easy either.  Must be that Scorpio thing.  Or the Taylor in me.  Or probably the Jackson.  Either way, it seems that somehow God shortchanged me of patience in my DNA.  Or wait... is that a learned trait? Then that can't be right either.  My parents both had the patience of saints, especially my mother.  No way I learned it from them.

Maybe if I had watched endless hours of Rachel McAdams as a kid I would have learned patience.  She's beautifully exhausting.  The Notebook, The Vow... same movie, same trying love stories.  She has more patience in love than God himself.  She is constantly having to be patient for the one she loves.

Sometimes my overactive imagination, ADD, slight anxiety (ahem) and lack of patience collide and explode to a fantastic trifecta leaving me utterly useless and unable to function.  It creates this hopeless feeling that sits in my gut awaiting direction.  Should I flip out?  How do we refocus?  REDIRECT! (as attachment parenting will tell you).

In celebration of my continuing trial of patience awaiting Bubba's departure, I decided to make a list.  Because that's what we women do.  We make lists. Particularly Taylors.  It makes it all better when it's down on paper.  If only I could find that yellow legal pad.

FRIDAY NIGHT GOING AWAY PARTY EXPECTATIONS

1.  I promise to NOT flip out, cry or make any kind of a scene in any way, good or bad.  This includes not drinking red wine and crying on his shoulder.  Drinks are restricted to vodka only to ensure sanity.  Davis will ensure that nothing else hits my hand, at least until after 10:00 pm.

2.  I promise to NOT make any part of the night focused on my insane anxieties or stress out my kids in ANY way.

3.  I promise to laugh ALL NIGHT LONG.

4.  I promise to be silent when possible (yes, this has to be a task of mine or won't get accomplished) and listen/watch the kids enjoy their family and friends.

5.  I promise to giggle with Eli every second I get, because he will lighten my mood if it ever gets icky.

6.  I promise to let go of any past opinions of others.  This will be tough, I am a giant grudge holder.  I will let it all go for one night for my kids happiness.  

7.  I promise if my anxiety creeps up and starts to battle me, I will find Kate's face and smile.  She and I will pull each other through without fail.  Because she feels the same way I do.

This I promise to myself.  I can do it.  I've done it before.

Stay focused, Davis.

Happy Wednesday, friends!

Jen