Friday, January 20, 2012

Mean Girls

When I was preggo with little guy, I prayed and prayed that God had given me a daughter.  I would even lay in my bed at night, singing and talking to my little sweet girl.  I even bought some pink things at the beginning of the pregnancy.  I was just convinced.

It didn't help that my momma was desperate for me to have a daughter.  She and I had such an awesome relationship and she wanted me to feel that with my own daughter.  Oh don't get me wrong - it wasn't always that way.  We downright threw down from 8th grade to my sophomore year.  

But alas, one of the zillion sonograms I had told us our destiny:  a boy was on his way.

My momma cried when I told her.  I was pretty disappointed but tried to hide it.  I eventually warmed up and of course by the time little guy arrived I was thrilled to be having another boy.

I had lunch yesterday with a girlfriend and learned of her 12 year old daughter's recent drama.  She attends a school that has 6th through 8th graders together in one building.  She's caught in a harassing situation right now.  One girl in the school doesn't like her.  Seems harmless, right?  Not so much.

This little girl follows her in between classes calling her names.  She gets other girls to join in on the antics.  In short ~ she's jealous of my friend's daughter and she's a big, nasty bully.

Even knowing that this little girl is just an insecure bully, it still just kills me that this is happening to my friend's little girl.  Seriously.  Why in the hell do little girls think they can just be mean to others?

Oh, oh, oh.... I've got this one!  I think it's because they have mean ass mother's that teach them to be mean.  It's my only answer.  I believe all kids are good (just like all dogs are good, their owners are the assholes).  So you have to put some blame on the parents... how else could they be that way?

My suggestion to my friend?  I told her to tell her sweet girl to stand up straight, hold her head high and tell this other girl to "Bite me".  Say it in front of all HER friends.  Then walk off.  Personally, I'd probably tell my daughter to say much worse and follow it by flattening the mean girl but that's not really appropriate.

I had experience with this when I was a teen.  I had one boyfriend through all of my 4 years of high school and spent all of my time focusing on him, thus neglecting girl friendships almost entirely (with exception to my bestie).  There were several girls that didn't like me.  So what.  But I did get the "Bitch" whispers in the hallway when I walked by a few of his ex's from time to time.  So awesome.  

Halfway through my freshman year after dating him for 2 months, one of his ex's had a issue with me.  To this day I am just convinced she had massive envy because she didn't even know me to hate me.  She gave me such crap that I finally broke and missed two weeks of school.  My parents were terrified I was depressed.  I told my mom what was happening and she was LIVID.  I have no idea what she could have done for me but by the time I went back to school, it was over.  I passed her every day in the hall and she never said another word to me.  I'm pretty convinced my mom intervened on my behalf in someway but I won't ever know for sure.

I am fairly convinced that if I had a daughter, she may not have any friends at all.   I would create the most confident, sassy, true girl with probably no filter and she wouldn't take crap from anyone.  Not to mention I would make sure she knew that no boys were ever good enough for her, giving her an even bigger ego so she could weed out the losers.  But I'll tell you this ~ she would be NICE to everyone.  I would kill her if I ever caught word of her being cruel to another person, boy or girl.  Even if she just happened to be hanging with other mean girls, I would make sure she understood that mean behaviour is just NOT acceptable.

Hats off to my friends with daughters.  You have such a tough road ahead of you.  I hope your daughters will be confident and not let anyone hurt them.  And please remind them to be nice to that shy, quiet girl.  She doesn't deserve to be picked on!

And the boys?  Well, you unfortunately have to worry about all of them.  I only have to worry about one!


  1. I can NOT wait for you to meet MY daughter on Sunday. She is exactly how you describe "your daughter" would have been like. Throw in the fact that she was "born 40" and has always been more mature than everyone, including me, and you have one very mature, incredibly intelligent, VERY sassy girl with no filter. You will get along wonderfully. ;)

  2. I can't WAIT to meet her either, Tracye! She sounds incredibly awesome! It's so refreshing to meet girls that will just not stand for bullying crap ~ either to themselves or someone else they know. If more girls would just stand up to these meanies we could eliminate it entirely!

  3. I would LOVE for every single one of these mean girls to come sit a day on a NICU or another clinic here at work to see how bad it really could be. Instead of wasting energy picking on other kids, they should use that energy for making things better.

    Oh and I prayed and prayed for a boy - no girls for me, please!

  4. I'm SOOO glad little nugget was a boy!! I can't imagine life without that little boy giggle! :)