Friday, January 06, 2012

Pump You Up

I love my gym.  It's a lot like me, quite frankly.  It's old, a little rough around the edges and sometimes in need of repair.  It's not a fancy brand name gym with high tech equipment either.  Nope, just a simple little hometown gym.

Nonetheless, we have the same gym rats that exist in every other gym in America.  And no, that's not meant to be derogatory - that's a real term for people that spend all their time at the gym!

Before you get defensive (if you happen to be a gym rat or married to a gym rat), these people obviously are the epitome of health.  They work very, very hard to tone their bodies to their maximum capacity.  I'm truly envious of the health they endow.  But you have to admit they are a bit.... interesting.

Hubs has been hitting the gym very early every morning.  He typically arrives back home just in time to witness me blogging (yep, it really is me - not a ghost blogger!)  And almost every day,. I get a new gym rat story.  Then roll on the floor hysterically for 15 minutes.

I think the best happens to be Mr.Studbucket - ponytail guy, zillion tats, bulging muscles everywhere like hung livestock.  Dons his gloves for weight lifting but leans on a cardio machine trying to pick up the cutest girl in there.  Never witness a weight lifted.  Hmmm.

Or there is Mr. Rude Ass- older man who is seemingly fit that appears nice until he climbs on the cardio machine next to you and ignores the fact you have earbuds in.  He talks, talks, talks to you until you are forced to take one out and respond to him, hoping desperately he will stop.  Which he doesn't.  Therefore ruining your ability to get a groove on while listening to your fav tunes.

My personal fav is Mr. Creepaholic - the guy that jumps on the cardio machine next to you obviously just to gawk at you during your entire workout.  At first I thought this guy thought I was cute or something.  I was wrong.  He is just a weirdo stalker that wants to watch how you program your machine.  Take a picture, dude... there are limits to how long you can look my direction.

Alas, I can't leave out Ms. HotAss.  Oh come on my cute friends, when you've got it you know it!  Bending all over the gym like Gumby, this girl catches everyone's attention - guys and girls.  I think us ladies are just amazed, jealous and envious that a body could look that great while we sweat buckets to try to lose 5 lbs.  But men - ah, they are mesmerized.  Oh by the way - thanks for wearing those tight fitting pants.  Or shorty shorts.  Just reminds our guys as to what they don't have at home.  But you do offer them a million hours in the spank bank, so thanks!

But without all these characters, our gym would just be us old, out of shape fatties trying to fit into the jeans in our closets.  They add a special touch to an already sometimes questionable establishment.  

One of my friends refers to my gym as the "Strep Establishment".  He tried to convince me that every time he goes to the gym he gets strep throat.  I've never gotten strep throat but did get an awesome planters wart while training last year.  Hmmm.. maybe he's onto something?

If you have 3 minutes you HAVE to watch this link - I rolled remembering their skit!  SNL was awesome in the 80s!!

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