My dearest, durable, beautiful 40 year old body,
I sincerely apologize for neglecting you the last few months. I am certain you have intentionally retaliated against me for abusing, overusing, overeating and under appreciating you. For that, I am regretfully sorry.
For this new year, I promise you the following:
1. I promise not to take for granted the strength you give me in my legs to walk, run, jump and dance. I understand how lucky I am to be mobile when many in the world are not.
2. I promise to appreciate the lungs you provide me to breathe deeply and calmly in times of exercise and in times of rest. I understand how lucky I am to be able to breathe with a family filled with chronic pulmonary disease.
3. I promise to fill you with the proper fuel you need to function daily in your optimum capacity. I will restrain from eating crap that has no value to help you operate properly.
4. I promise to drink the proper amount of fluid to help you stay hydrated through not only strenuous activity but throughout each day.
5. I promise to cut down in the amount of alcohol I put in you with expectations you will remain normal. I recognize moderation is important to you.
6. I promise to exercise daily to help you gain strength, mobility and flexibility.
With these things, I expect a few things from you as well. Please understand the following demands:
1. I expect with my hard work, you will eliminate the additional fat I packed on you.
2. I expect with my dedication that you will lose not only inches but weight from the dreaded scale on which I step.
3. I expect with my dedication that you will respond gently to the additional pain I will put you through to achieve our goals.
4. I expect with my dedication you will keep me healthy and avoid future illnesses or injury.
P.S. If you will please try this time to help me with those stingy "problem areas", I would greatly appreciate it! At least give me a hint how to remove the damn things!