What's in a Scrotum?

KB, ME and PB

Thank GOD for girlfriends!  They do make all things just a little bit easier in life.

Yep, the dreaded Human Sexuality video was last night.

OH MY GOD.

I am SO not prepared for this with my little guy.

We literally looked like monkeys last night.  KB covered her ears, PB tried not to laugh and I just shut my eyes.

I must believe at this time that this might be the only single, solitary moment where it may be easier to have a daughter.  I yearned to run away and hide in the 4th grade girls movie showing.  There is no way it could possibly have been as descriptive as our movie!

So this blog will be a bit PG-13.  Heck, if my 10 year old will see it then I'm sure you all won't think it's inappropriate either, right?  

Sure the movie explains good things - your body will change.  Your voice will crack.  Your sweat glands will start working overtime and make you smelly and give you pimples.  Okay, easy peasy.

Bum, bum, bummmm..... You will grow hair.  Flash up ~ naked body (no worries, just a cartoonish picture).  Time for descriptions!  This is your penis, these are your testicles which lay inside of a loose sack called the scrotum.  Great, word #1 for giggles and fun.  As one of the mom's said last night, it just sounds like a funny word so of course the boys are going to run around and call each other one all the time.  I'm sure Mrs. G (our principal) won't mind that at all.  Haven't these people met 10 year old boys before??

Onto the fact that your penis will grow, which is called an erection.  Oh and the best part - this can happen involuntarily which is totally normal.  AWESOME.  Now little guy is going to be nervous all the time that he is going to "grow accidentally" at school but it's okay, it's totally normal.  Maybe to the people that made the movie, but ask any 10 year old that this happens to and I'm sure you won't get the same answer!

Now onto "night emissions".  In other words, also called a wet dream.  These happen involuntarily also and it's totally normal.

JUST KILL ME NOW.

I know my little guy is the baby of the family thus I'm a bit protective, but come on people... HE'S 10 YEARS OLD!  He plays Uno with his grandparents and runs around the house playing shoot 'em with nugget.  He cuddles with his stuffed animals at night still!  He is sweet and sensitive and so not ready to hear all of this just yet.  I know, I know - he will need to know it and of course, he will.  But right now?  What exactly is going to be helpful in knowing this information at 10 years old?  

Little guy is a sports nut, so by design most of his friends are athletic as well.  I can totally envision the hallways of his school after this video.  KB's kid will mimic Beavis and Butthead "heh, heh... you have a scrotum".  PBs kid will say "yeah, well at least I didn't have a wet dream last night".  And my son?  He'll smile and laugh and be SILENT dying inside of embarrassment from the conversation.  No, he's not perfect.  He's just SHY.

So thanks a lot, Lee's Summit School District, for finding it necessary to teach my 10 year old son about erections.  I'm certain that is pertinent information he would have never obtained independently of you showing him this movie.  Next I guess you will hand out condoms as party favors? 

UGH - private school sure seems like a better solution right now!