Why YES, I do Love my Cousin...

Ah crap.  I hate those talk shows where you have a totally dysfunctional family airing all their dirty laundry in public.  "He slept with my sister's best friend" crap.  Eww.  So tacky and white trash.

I find myself in one of those familial situation once again... and somehow my ex's 4th wife is right in the middle of it.  Lovely.  I sent my application off to Springer this morning so I'm sure we'll get accepted.

See if you can follow along:

One of my siblings dated one of my best friends after we graduated high school.

They got pregnant.

They got engaged.

They broke engagement.

They had a baby (my niece).

I got pregnant.

I got married to my ex (ugh, shoot me).

We had a baby (my son).

We got divorced.

So far, easy to figure out.  Now the fun part.

My ex married 4th wife 3 years ago.

4th wife is now best friends with my prior bestie (see above.)

She has a son from one of her previous marriages (not sure how many she has...)

That would make my son and her son steps or something like that (unfortunately).

My previous bestie's daughter (my niece, remember?) is apparently dating 4th wife's son.

Hmmm.... seem incestuous to anyone else but me?  Wouldn't that in some universe actually make them cousins by some means?  Oh I know, no worries - they aren't blood.  That makes it completely normal.

I just discovered this news last week and have been pondering it ever since.  It's quite fascinating and I'm sure would make a great show.

So like in all good families with ex's and the crap that follows them, my niece will now no longer speak with me because she loves her new family better (so she told me quite clearly) and my ex is her favorite person on the planet.  It must be because of his stellar parental skills I'm guessing.  It will be awesome if they marry and my ex (her uncle) becomes her father in law.  She thought my family was bad... just wait until she fully experiences that one. 

All I can say is if she ever needs her family history information it may be difficult to get it if she cuts us all out.  Drawing lines and making declarative statements with a Scorpio is never a good idea.  We hold grudges longer than an Indian Summer and are not quick to forgive or forget when people crap on us or our family.

I guess the positive to this is that one by one I have almost successfully eliminated all traces of my ex and his poison.  See, if you are determined you can do anything!  I feel like I am living a true reenactment of the show Revenge!

As I advised in my Liar Liar post.... pathological liars and sociopaths have very deep roots and will work to destroy your family if you let them in.  No shocker it reached this level - my niece was unfortunately easy to penetrate.  The good news is 4th wife has officially run out of my peeps to try to infect.  My core group is as strong as an old oak and can't be infiltrated.  I guess she'll just move back to the other ex to harass.  

I wonder if she ever tries to stab at 3rd wife?  Probably not since she and my ex didn't have kids together.  She seems to only target parental relationships by manipulating the kids.

And back to my happy place, striking a Namaste pose....

As a footer to all of this - I officially do love my niece very much.  I'm very proud of her and her accomplishments and wish her the best of luck in all her future endeavours.  I'm hopeful she will live a successfully happy life!

My Idiot Father

I talked with a friend last night in despair.  Once again, the bio dad of her kids hurt them yet again. 

This couple had an interesting story.  Last year they decided to split after 10+ years of marriage.  They even lived together during their separation "for the kids".  It was amazingly amiable - I was a bit torn at the time but they really did put the kids first in everything they did so it seemed to work great!  They even divorced very amicably so I really did think they would be one of the lucky ones to coparent.

Ah, how wrong I was.  Within 2 months of their divorce, bio dad remarried.  Yep - insert 3rd wife (he was married before my friend).  And what does she bring with her?  Three kids from 2 dads ~ although she doesn't have custody of any of them.  Hmmm, the issues mount.

Shocking that a few short months later, it's a nightmare.  Since he married 3rd wife, he no longer attends any of HIS kids events.  None of them.  Now it's important to note that he attended EVERYTHING before the 3rd wife came along.  He was a great dad!  But now since he needs to HATE the bio mom he can't go to anything because it's "uncomfortable" to be around her.  No, that's not step moms doing, of course not.  I'm sure she's perfect in every way.

So last night, their little guy had his preschool Christmas program.  He'd been practicing and was very excited for the event.  It was his DAD'S day.  I'm sure you can see how this unfolds.

Bio dad called my friend and asked if she could pick up the little guy and take him to his program.  Of course! was her response.  However, I'd like to pick up BOTH kids ~ the little guy gets drug to all of the older boy's events so this time the older son needs to support his little brother.  Nope, that's not what bio dad wants.  He wants to take older son 2 hours away to see stepmom's daughter's Christmas program.

Wait ~ what??  Our older son can't see his little brother's program but you want to take him to his new stepsister's program?  How does that work exactly?

End result - bio dad got mad and kept both kids.  And little guy missed his own Christmas program.  And they all drove 2 hours away to see the stepdaughter's program and arrived home I'm sure after 10 on a school night.

OH MY GOD.  And what point does this make sense??  It doesn't.

See ~ bio dad did not put his kids first.  He put his WIFE first.  Hence the reason you shouldn't remarry if you can't keep your shit prioritized.

I had to deal with this crap too for a long time.  My ex wouldn't come to my son's events if I was going to be there.  Whatever.  He's my kid, he came out of my vag and I don't care if the world is on FIRE you will not keep me from being a part of my child's life.  Pull up your big boy pants and get your ass to your kids events!  You think you hurt the bio mom when you put your head in the sand but it is ONLY the kiddos that take the hit.  My ex missed YEARS of baseball, basketball, football, school plays, etc. but would bow his neck when parent teacher conferences came around because he wanted to "be involved".  Nope, you're not.  If you can't show respect in his everyday life then you don't get to participate.  Period.  Your parental card has been revoked for improper parenting.

This bio dad will figure this out soon enough, too.  Eventually, these two boys won't want to go to his house.  And of course, my friend will be to blame for being an EVIL EX.  Wear it proud, sister - wear it proud!  Defend your kids to the end.  They know who loves them, supports them and is their biggest advocate.  And sad as it might be right now, they will be better off without the absent father and the 3rd wife - of course by then it may be the 4th wife....