Back to Port!

We got the BEST news today!

Bub's ship is back!  After a world wide trip lasting 6 months, the Cruiser that my son is assigned is coming back home.  That means he will be HOME with my daughter!  At least for awhile, anyway.  A HUGE thank you to the Sailors aboard this fantastic Cruiser for protecting our nation!  You ROCK!

I was hyperventilating daily when faced with the fact they would be moving in a very short time and as soon as they got there, he would be leaving again.  Yes, I realize he is part of a MOBILE unit but still!  I wanted peace of mind knowing he would be with Kate for a least a little bit to get their new home settled.

I placed a new countdown on my blog but regret it already.  As if I wasn't sad enough when he left for boot, this one has much heavier meaning.  This next time I see him will be for awhile - he'll be finally leaving "home".... permanently.  With Sassy and Nugget in tow.

I can barely type that without tears.

I'm trying to channel my daughter's strength.  She is so amazing about this adventure, excited about all the new things she will experience.  I'm so jealous!  At 24 years old, I totally did NOT possess this level of independence.  Granted my mother had a stroke right after I turned 25 which drastically changed my life... but even if that hadn't have happened I'm pretty sure I would not have left my hometown.  I didn't have as much courage back then.  Not nearly as much as I do now.

Oh - and for the official "blog scrapbook".... Great Lakes Recruit Training Command posted this past week's graduating class (that would be ours)... and Jeremy is in several of the pictures!  This one happens to be my fave since he is maneuvering around and you can clearly see his face!

Third Row, next to flag carrier!

I still miss him so much.  I'm not sure that feeling is ever going to go away.

He matured 5 years while he was away.  Even his words seemed different to me.  And although he wanted to know what we had been up to for the past two months, he was steadfast in not hearing ANY drama whatsoever.  He's washed his hands of unhealthy relationships, distant family and focused entirely on his own career path, his family's future and developed an awesome optimistic outlook on his life.

I can't say it enough... I'm so proud of him.  I strive to live by his example as well!

Have a fantastic Wednesday, friends!

Jen

Time for me to FLY

The day has finally arrived.  My son has his ship orders ~ subject to change in accordance to the United States Navy, of course.  He's heading out west... his desired location.

Not really mine.  But I'm not sure any location would be my desired location at this point.

Reality has set in and it's unavoidable at this point.  The kids, my kids, are moving across the country.  They are leaving my hometown.  They are leaving us behind. 

I know it's a great adventure.  I know it will be awesome.  I'm not quite sure why I'm hyperventilating.  Nonetheless, I am.

In all honesty, I had hoped in the back of my mind that they would end up in Florida.  I've had a secret crush on the state for a long time now, have a great friend living there and love to visit.  I could picture myself there, eventually, with my kids.

The west coast?  Not exactly.  I don't know why, but for some reason I can't see myself there.  Ever (well, for more than a visit, anyway).  As much time as I have run on Santa Monica beach, cruised 5 Highway in LA at mach 10 and soaked up the sun in between client visits there, I still can't see myself there for any extended period of time.

I'm a bit conflicted today.  Extreme pride and joy, as always.  A bit anxious for the actual move.  And truth be told ~ panicked about the future without seeing my kids at least once a week.

So I did what I always do.  I Googled flights.  I'm sure my daughter would laugh knowing this as both my son and I are self-professed Google-maniacs.  If you want to know ANYTHING about ANYTHING, just Google it.  $321 round trip.  Plus a rental car.  Plus a hotel.  Minimum $600 for a weekend trip.

Can I afford to take a trip every month?  Because right now I feel that's what I'm going to need to do.

But I fear I won't.  Life will get busy.  Time will slip away.  Weeks will turn into months.  And that makes me sad to even consider.  And makes me hyperventilate.

For now, I'm going to just run.  Training always makes my head clear and helps me accept new challenges.  I'm going to pray to not be so afraid of these changes and hopefully sweat the fear right out of my body.

And I'm going to keep my eye on the boat... I mean ship... my son will work on shortly.

It is quite impressive.  In addition to "management" there are 340 enlisted men and women working on the boat.  I mean ship.

I'll get it right someday.

Have a great Wednesday, friends.  Sorry for the ho hum... just being a real person today.

Jen

Yep, I Still Do

Dear TD,

It's impossible to believe that 19 years ago we stood in front of our friends and family and said I do.  Do YOUremember what we promised to do?  I'm not sure I can recall, quite frankly.  I'm sure it was something along the lines of "sickness and health, 'til death do us part".  Yikes.  That's frighteningly long.  At least we got some of the sickness stuff out of the way early so maybe now we can just focus on the health part.

I do specifically recall, however, that I refused to state "I obey" in my vows to you.  I figured if you knew anything at all about my stubborn, thick headed personality, you would know that those words would never be uttered by this scorpion woman.

In observance of our day  I've compiled a list of random thoughts to mark the occasion.  Shocker... I made a list.  I'm certain you just fell out of your chair.

Here goes:

1.  The year was 1992.  It was HOT.  You met your best friend's girlfriend and decided to smile at her.  I instantly fell in love with you.  Okay, maybe it was just lust.  But whatever it was, it worked.  Thank god you made a move and kissed me behind Wayne Smirl's oak tree in the backyard.  Kudos for being courageous and taking a chance.

2.  You proposed on one knee in my parent's kitchen 5 months after meeting me, two days before Christmas, at around midnight.  I freaked out, seriously doubting you understood what you were getting yourself into.  I figured I might as well grab you if you were brave enough to ask me.  I may have forgotten all you said that night but I'll never forget that gold swirl velvet carpet or red brick facade paneling.

3.   I officially apologize for not making it a full year in our first apartment.  I hated Blue Springs and still do to this day.  Breaking our lease and having to pay it anyway was my first true understanding of the meaning of "contracts" but actually taught me how far you would go to make me happy.  Thank you for letting me have my way (the first of MANY times you have conceded to my spontaneity). 

4.  Thank you for being the most fantastic father in the world to my son.  Words cannot even describe how much I appreciate your selfless, unconditional love to Jeremy.  Your amazing support of him has shaped the man he is today, an incredible husband and father to his family.  You are his ROCK ~ consistent, steady and always there.  I love you MOST because of this, truth be told.

5.  For the record, I totally blame my complete lack of hearing on you.  Endless hours down at that heavy metal bar in Westport with the Ragsdale's during our mid-twenties effectively destroyed it.  In return, now you get to repeat everything you say for the remainder of our lives.  Way to go.  At least you taught me how to drink beer, albeit Milwaukee's Best Light (or so they said), so essentially I could be a cheap drunk when we get old if I somehow forget my expensive vodka taste.

6.  Although I pretty much forced you into having another child, I'm so glad you hung with me through the endless years of infertility issues.  It's amazing to me that we even stayed married through all of that mess.  I was an evil woman and I totally own that (along with the drug manufacturers). So thanks for hangin' in there, babe... I think we're even in that I gave you the little guy as a result and he's pretty cool... so far.

7.  As the social chair of our family, I gotta give you some huge props.  I have stuck you in some (ahem) uncomfortable situations over the past 20 years with some of my friendships.  I was lacking a bit in judgement in people back then and hung out sometimes with what my dad would have referred to as "the undesirables".  Thanks for going with the flow, especially in times when you really probably didn't like me that much.  And certainly didn't like some of them! 

8.  Our roller coaster has been flying downhill lately with multiple shifts left and right.  You are handling the growing changes in our family immensely well, even when it's a hot mess.  When I am out of control crazy, you seem to be quiet, balanced and calm.  That's pretty awesome, considering I feel pretty out of control crazy most of the time.  I guess opposites do attract, or whatever that stupid phrase is.  I'm glad we're not exactly alike ~ I'm not sure I would like you if you were just like me. 

9.  I've been in the throws of a midlife crisis for the past 5 years and I have to admit you've handled it quite well.  Thank you for recognizing I won't be bat shit crazy forever.  Well, at least until we plan our tiny home project.  I may be completely off my rocker by then.  Hopefully you can hang on until then ~ I could really use your mad sheet rock hanging and floor laying skills.  Sub floor is so heavy.

10.  Our 40's may have brought about a little slower metabolism, new hair growth where not desired (and missing hair where we want it), accentuated laugh lines (yeah - we're gonna call them those instead of the dreaded crow's feet) and a myriad of other fun changes, but somehow we still got each other.  Maybe we figure nobody else would want to deal with our crap awesomeness.  At least we're in the boat together and not stranded at sea alone.

More than anything, I have always appreciated our ability to be friends.  Even when we aren't, we still are.  You get me and I dig that.  We may want to throw skillets at each other's heads sometimes but in the end after the dust settles, we always come back to our friendship.  I think that's going to be a huge advantage when I get Alzheimer's and try to sneak into another man's room.  Well.... maybe.

Happy anniversary, babe.  Beers up to another 19 years, which undoubtedly will end with us tearing down a nursing home together.  We have to be warriors somewhere!  They better have wi-fi so I can still publicize our lives together on the blogosphere.  I know how much you love that. 

Love you,

Jennifer Taylor (Cunningham Bartimus) Davis

(Friends - for those of you wondering.... although I hate my ex, when hubs is being sassy he loves to call me by my prior married name.  Oh, and Bartimus is the man I dated before Davis.  Our conduit.  He loves to call him my ex-husband, even though we never married.  He's halarious like that.)

Oh - by the way Davis.... you totally owe me for something.  I'm just sure of it.  When I figure it out, I'll let you know.  It's important to keep tabs in a marriage.  You're it.