Boys will be Boys

"Hey mom, have you ever eaten a scab?"

And so my night began.  There is a distinct difference between boys and girls from birth, obviously defined by the first rhyme we learned as a kid:  sugar and spice and all things nice, that's what girls are made of.  sticks and snails and puppy dog tails, that's what boys are made of.  I think that's how it goes - I can't remember yesterday so I may have part of it wrong.

I can tell you this for certain:  my mom never thought I was made of sugar and spice and all things nice.  I'm pretty certain of it.  I think I was more a half-breed as a kid.  Much more boy than girl.  I guess that's not that far off from today either.

Little guy is ALL boy.  He loves to get dirty.  He doesn't care when snow is packed inside his gloves (if he even has them on).  He refuses to wear "fancy pants" (aka, church clothes, or khakis to those that don't know either terms) to school.  He doesn't like girls (at least tells me he doesn't but I happened to learn a different story the other day from one of his friends).  He likes any single sport on the planet, even those he has never played before.  He wants to know how everything works, how it was built and what it's function is in life.  And he wants to know if I have ever eaten a scab.

Ah, the simple life.  No bra straps.  No menstrual cycles.  No girl angst triangle dramas where one friend gets left out in the lunchroom.  No BOY drama, thank god.  As hubs always says, we have ONE boy to worry about.  Our friends with girls have ALL of the boys to worry about.  So true.

When I got home yesterday, I asked little guy to take a run with me.  He is a great runner but completely different than me - he really is a sprinter.  He is accustomed to running short distances (except when he breaks loose on the football field and returns a kick for 80 yards).  Basketball, baseball... even soccer have him running short bursts, all out.  It's no surprise that our run looked exactly the same.

We took out and I told him to take it slow and steady.  Consistent.  We would be out there awhile, no racing necessary.  Of course he asked if I would sprint against him when we got closer to home on our way back.  Sure buddy, I'll let you smoke me.  Two blocks away, he was walking.  Mind you his walk was pretty much as fast as my running, but he was walking nonetheless.  I asked him if anything hurt, was he out of breath?  Nope, just "taking a break".  Awesome.

By a mile in, he had succombed completely to walking.  We were on our trail by then so I told him to catch up to me by the end, I needed to keep moving.  So much for motivating ME!  Mid-trail he had caught up and I told him we were running all the way back home.

He looked like a car that stalls.  Forward movement.  Halt.  Forward movement.  Halt.  I had whiplash just watching him.

A block away from our house, I turned it up and started striding out.  He was gone in a flash, I couldn't even get near keeping up with him.  Only because he walked and reserved his strength, I'm sure. 

When we entered the house he asked for a protein shake.  He was just worn out.  What a great run, mom!

Ah, boys.  Gotta love 'em!

Jen

Buy Me Something!

I have found through personal experience that the Baby of the Family (yes, that's me) often gets a bad rap.  As if just because the are born last they are spoiled rotten.  Get whatever they want (and ask for).  Are automatically granted immunity when settling arguments with siblings.  Well... obviously that is all wrong.

I think quite the opposite is true.  How many baby pictures (or any others for that matter) are taken of the  baby of the family?  And just for the record ~ just because they are typically the sassiest doesn't mean that they get everything they want.  We just have to learn to ask for what we want with gusto.

Little guy has had a rough go as the BOF.  Bubba would disagree, of course, because oldest siblings have to think the baby is spoiled rotten.  It's written somewhere, I'm sure.  But he really has... I would consider him much more an only child personality than a BOF.  He doesn't get to just "get" things.  When we hit the Target, he doesn't just get to buy something because he was good in the store.  If he wants something new, we still make him plan for it.  If something trendy and awesome comes out, he usually has to wait to get it for a holiday or special event.  

Oh believe me... it's TOUGH for me.  As the BOF myself, I want to just give him what he asks for.  He is such a great kid.  I honestly cannot remember the last time he was "in trouble".  Honestly.  He does exactly what he is asked to do, follows all of the structure given to him.  He does his homework unsolicited.  He works his tail off in his extra curricular activities.  He is polite and kind.  The closest he comes to being a sassy BOF is he argues with me like a crazy man sometimes, but I think that's just my love of debate coming through in him.

A few weeks ago while cleaning the kitchen, Coopster approached me to have a chat.

"Mom, it is time for us to place our book orders at school tomorrow.  Do you think it would be okay if I ordered some books?  I haven't ordered any since 1st grade."

"Buddy, you are totally exaggerating.  We bought books last year, I'm sure of it.  But yes, of course you can order some books!"

"Mom, really it was 1st grade.  I didn't order any in Ms. Magee's class.  Only in Ms. Dawson's class."

Pausing to remember.... I can't remember what I had for lunch yesterday let alone what YEAR he ordered books at school.

"Okay sweetie.  Well of course you can order some books.  Go ahead and get it ready and I'll write the check in a bit."

After finishing the kitchen I bound upstairs to hubs.  I'm so excited to share with him that we have raised the most perfect child ever.  He doesn't want a video game or the latest, greatest pair of shoes.  He wants BOOKS!  Woo hoo.... we ROCK as parents!  He smiles when I tell him the story, not nearly as surprised as I am I'm sure... he expects it from little guy, I'm always surprised.

The next morning while scrambling to take dogs outside, get breakfast ready and get us all out the door, little guy reminds me to write the check for his book order.  "I put it on the desk mom next to your checkbook so you wouldn't forget."  He knows me so well.  2 seconds before he leaves for the bus, I finally pick up the book order.  $60!  WHAT?!?!?  Are you kidding me?  Nope, not kidding.  My son had ordered $60 worth of books.

I swallow hard and look at him.  "Buddy, are you sure you want all of these books?"  He replies "Yes, momma, I do want all of them.  Um... did I order to much?"  

A huge wave washed over me and I almost cried.  "No buddy, you didn't order to much.  Here is your check and order form.  Have the best day ever.  I love you, sweet boy."

With a grin he jammed his form into his backpack and ran out the door.  I sat in total bliss.  If that is spoiled, I hope I get the chance to spoil him every single day of my life!

To bring myself back down to reality, he asked me after school for an x-box.  Again.  It isn't enough that he already has 4 game systems between his Wii, Playstation 2, Nintendo DS and Sony whatever that handheld thing is called.  He wants another one because "it has different games on it, mom".  Whatever.  I wasn't born yesterday!  He's totally not getting it until he purges some of this other stuff and gives to someone that DOESN'T have 4 gaming systems that they don't play.

Love ya, buddy!

Jen

SIN AWAY!!

Is it Friday yet?

I have found recently that I have a lot of friends that seem to be pretty cranky most days.  I too suffer from this from time to time but I'd like to think it isn't EVERY day.  You know the ones... they post on facebook the above comment.... every Tuesday morning.  I always want to say back "Nope, but it is a glorious Tuesday!"

This Tuesday happens to be Fat Tuesday.  Woo hoo!  For those of you unaware, Mardi Gras is French for Fat Tuesday, which refers to the practice of the last night eating richer, fatty foods before the ritual fasting of Lenten season, which begins on Ash Wednesday.  Bring it on... that is RIGHT up my alley!  It is also known as sort of the "season of sin" so overindulgence of all types seem to take place during this event.  The obvious reason Mardi Gras is so popular in New Orleans is the incredible amount of French influence that takes place in this part of our country.

As if I need a reason to overindulge!  I already got a kick start this weekend with chops and biscuits and gravy.  No worries, I evened it out with half of a pan of caramel fudge brownies.  Yikes.

For Lent I think I'll just give up food entirely.  No, that won't work.  What if I give up sugar?  Oh lord, that won't be pretty.  I'm gonna have to think this through more thoroughly.

Today, enjoy my friends!  Don't wish away the week and try to get to Friday.  Have a SUPER Fat Tuesday instead!!

(Oh, and for those of you perpetual dieters or do gooder eaters, you can indulge in other ways.  Maybe two sprays of fake butter instead of one.  Or an extra helping of broccoli, it's negative calories anyway.  Know that I'm totally envious... I can't control any food intake!)

Laissez les bons temps rouler!

Jen

Back to Life, Back to Reality

I did it!  I accomplished my impossible task of removing electronics from my life... for almost 48 hours!  It wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be... actually quite the contrary.  It was refreshing.

When hubs and I awoke this morning, it was bittersweet.  Back to reality.  Back to starting laundry, working out, rushing the dogs and the kiddo and getting out the door to arrive to work.  Don't get me wrong, we are both happy in our work lives.  But our weekend time was absolute bliss.

We started our weekend with an amazing couples massage Friday.  First massage ever for hubs.  I was a bit nervous how we would feel about it so I left it a surprise as long as I could.  Even after telling him I could sense he was just pretending to be excited about it.  My hubs is a man of few words.  He is an intentional speaker, quite the opposite of me.  When his mouth moves, he has thought out his words carefully and he means them.  When our therapists left the room and we laid quietly together, I asked him how he felt.  His response was simple:  "I think Stephanie should move in with us".  Mission accomplished!  And now, perv readers... this was NOT a happy endings joint!

 Afterwards we journeyed 3 hours south to our weekend destination:  a cabin in the woods.  Words cannot describe how excited we both were when we unlocked the gate and drove 2 miles down a dirt/gravel road to the cabin, which sat amidst 22 acres. 

The weather was perfect.  55 degrees during the day, 40 at night.  The sun was shining both Friday and Sunday with a bit of overcast on Saturday.  Couldn't have turned out any better in the month of February in Southern Missouri!

 The name of our rental was Pinehill Cabin, and that it was.  The grounds were covered with pine trees and claiming a "hill" is an understatement!  We hiked quite a few miles on Saturday and the terrain was pretty steep.  

  

The cabin was perfect. The owner had thought of everything a home would need, right down to a corkscrew. She supplied us with starter logs for the firepit, a heated outdoor jacuzzi ready to go and a fully stocked kitchen.

 In addition to hiking and relaxing, Bubba lent us his handgun to test during our trip.  We are considering purchase of a weapon for personal protection.  Needless to say I better stick to my "wasp spray" idea of protection against a predator... I would probably hit them better than with a bullet!  I'm pretty sure my eyes weren't open as I never saw it go anywhere and two days later, I'm still sore.  Yikes.  Hubs did have a blast shooting his 410 though.

I learned three things on this weekend adventure about myself.  First, I can survive without any electronics at all as long as I have a coffeepot.  Second, I don't really require a watch, clock or any other means to tell time when the sun comes up and sets as a reminder.  Lastly, I really did marry my best friend. 

Without any interruptions, bills, laundry or kiddos with us, hubs and I discovered our perfect harmony.  We are considerate of one another.  We laugh at each other.  We are sympathetic to each other.  We are different in almost every way but understand each other's differences.

We did also discover that we absolutely can survive in my Tiny House dream, with some modifications.  The top floor of the cabin we rented was a glorious 550 sq ft and was every single thing we needed.  When we wanted to achieve privacy, one of us went outside.  The next test will be a week in this environment to see if we can survive but I'm fairly confident of the outcome.

I will say that anytime I did pick up my phone, my hubs reminded me of my "minimalist" ideology.  I think sometimes it was just a habit but one I could easily break!  It was helpful that we had no cell or internet service where we stayed.

I do have to say though that I did miss my blogging.  I'm thinking writing a book would be the best solution to that removal.  It may be my only outlet to get my thoughts down on paper and out of my head.

So tonight we will roll in, tired from a long days work, and pick up where we left off this morning.  Laundry, dinner, time with little guy, prep for Tuesday.  I suppose there is some comfort in the consistency of our lives.  I would just prefer it be in a less demanding fashion.

Welcome back, readers!

Jen

 

FRIDAY FAVES!

Another week, another FRIDAY!  I hope you had a great week and are able to enjoy some weekend downtime!

It's time for my FAVES (my new favorite blog of the week, in case you wondered).  ENJOY!

FAVE PHOTOGRAPHER

As if I didn't throw up enough of this on my facebook this week, I am absolutely in LOVE with Seth Casteel!  He specializes in underwater canine photography and is so freakin' COOL!  You can see more of Seth here:   Underwater Photos.  Here is my favorite one!

FAVE SASSY QUOTE

It wouldn't be Friday without a sassy quote.  This one is so true... I always feel like people are yelling at me when they type in caps!

FAVE DESTINATION

Yep, totally want to go here.  Brings together my love of Tiny Houses as well as a beautiful destination.  Maybe I should just move to Bora Bora permanently... best of both worlds?

FAVE DESSERT

Okay, I didn't get to make these for Vday... but my co-worker's daughter and nanny did!  We were the lucky recipients of these tasty treats and OH MY GOODNESS!  I truly fell in love and want to make a zillion reasons to make them every weekend of my life forever and ever.  Okay, maybe not THAT often...  here is the link to the recipe!  Red Velvet Crinkle Cookies

FAVE MUSIC

Unless you live in a dumpster, you couldn't possibly have avoided the beautiful music of Adele this week.  She racked in 6 GRAMMY awards this past weekend and topped it all off with a perfect performance of her hit song Rolling in the Deep.  If for some reason you do live under a rock, click here to listen to it!  Adele: Rolling in the Deep   I Love, love, love her!

FAVE MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE

For those of you that know my upbringing, you will remember that my mom was a collector of stuff.  Dolls, mostly.  CREEPY dolls.  Ugh.  She came by it honestly ~ her twin, older sister and mother all collected dolls as well.  But my Aunts both took it one step further... collecting LOTS of stuff.  This poster just reminds me to be careful in that I most likely possess this genetic anomaly and I don't want it to happen to me!  Maybe this is why I read so many minimalist books??

FAVE DREAM SPACE

As hubs and I embark on our weekend cabin trip ALONE this weekend, this picture reminds me of the prize:  quiet, uninterrupted moments.  I cannot WAIT to take this trip with him!!

FAVE FOOD FIND

This just seems way to good to pass up.  I'm loving the colors on the plate!  I'm not much of a red meat eater anymore, but I think I would jump at these if hubs put them on my plate.  YUMMO!

Enjoy your weekend, friends!!!

Jen

Gonna get me some REVENGE!

Wednesday nights have turned into my favorite night of the week, all because of that damn box that sits in my living room.  Yep, it's official.  I'm addicted to television.  ABC television, to be exact.  Wednesday nights, to be more precise.

I absolutely love the programming on this show.  The Middle reminds me of well... me!  This mom works her tail off, isn't totally domestically gifted and makes tons of mistakes as a parent.  But she's passionate and loves her family, much like I do.  And of course, it takes place in middle America which is where I live! 

The throw in some Suburgatory.  Absolutely love Tessa!  Father and daughter from NY relocated to the suburbs... and not just any 'burbs.  Every stereotypical thing you can imagine from a white, rich neighborhood takes place in this neighborhood.  Tessa's way of handling the transition just makes me laugh out loud every single week.  She thinks the situation is ludicrous (mostly because it is)!

LOVE me some Modern Family!  Awards aside, funniest writing on television to date.  I love the family dynamic and how they have thrown them all together.  They don't act perfect.  They hurt each other's feelings.  They say things sometimes they wish they could take back.  And they love each other conditionally.  Ahhh, finally someone gets it.

The night of course wouldn't be complete without a big hour dose of REVENGE!  My absolutely FAVORITE show on television!  I can't believe how hooked I was from the first episode.  If the house was burning down around me, smoke alarm blaring, firemen rushing in... I wouldn't budge off that couch (well... possibly the firemen!)  Hubs has learned over the years that when I'm that committed to something, he doesn't even attempt to talk to me.  I can't hear him... even when he is sitting directly next to me.  I get so ingrained I can actually feel the sand beneath my toes and sun on my face as Emily (aka Amanda) walks the beach with Daniel.  These characters are so rich in their design that I even love the ones I hate. 

I'm sure my mom felt the same way about Knots Landing.  Or Dynasty.  When she would "Ssshhhhh!!" my hiney right out of her door at 9:00 pm to watch her "stories".  I work EXTRA hard on Wednesday nights to make sure little guy is tucked in watching his own stories by 9:00 pm so I don't miss a beat!

I know a lot of friends that could permanently live without their televisions.  I too dream of a day when technology doesn't absorb so much of time.   But I would much rather get rid of my PHONE than my TV.  Of course that's only because I want people to not interrupt my viewing pleasures!

I'm thinking there are probably meetings for this, too.  I'll have to google it.  On my television :).

Happy viewing, friends!
Jen

Bite it, Bio Dad

Now that V-day is officially over, it's probably time for me to have a throw down blog.  I haven't had one of those in a long time! I'll try not to be overly negative (yeah right) so if you only want to read upbeat stories today you'll have to visit one of my other bloggers!

I ordered the invitations to my oldest son's going away party this week and once again, a chord was struck.  Those of you that know me understand that I absolutely despise my ex with every single fiber of my being.  And nope, I'm not some jealous ex (as if that would EVEN be possible).  He has monumentally hurt (physically, verbally and emotionally) and disappointed my son repeatedly throughout his life and once my son came to realize this was his reality, my handcuffs finally came off allowing me to say what I really feel about it.

Each time a life event occurs for my son, once again I'm reminded that it probably hurts my son that his bio father is such a piece of crap.  Ugh.  Hurts my heart.

I'm sure his 4th wife would LOVE that it hurts me.  She would probably do a dance over it.  She is that mature and thinks it's funny to be hurtful to others.  Mean Girl, most definitely.  I think we called those insecure girls bullies in high school, which she firmly still acts as though she's in.

My son is totally at peace with where his relationship with his Dad sits today.  He expects absolutely nothing from the man.  Not an apology, not a smile, not even any acknowledgement.  Personally, I don't know where he gets that strength but I'm thankful every day for his ability to move forward and not focus on the negative that was handed him.

Me on the other hand?  Well, I think God meant we should forgive unless it has something to do with our children.  If someone intentionally hurts your kids, I don't think you have to forget about it.  If someone wants to be mean to me, that's fine... but NOT my kids.  I think God put me on this earth to protect them to the day I die, which I will.  So I think I will go ahead and hate him (and stick pins in his doll) and NOT forgive him for all of his atrocities.  And the list is  L O N G  my friends.

 I suppose I shouldn't waste anytime thinking about these things.  The reality is that my ex doesn't care about my son.  And he never has.  But I am so disappointed in that.  At one point he was in love with his only son.. at least I think he was.  Somewhere between gathering three more wives, how ever many stepkids and loving his Jack Daniels more than any of it, he lost his priority of loving and protecting his own son.  But of course, it's completely my fault.  It couldn't possibly be his.

I have a couple of people in my life that walk through their journey blaming everyone around them for their "misfortunes" and I just don't get it.  Every decision has a consequence.  Like it or not.  And we all make mistakes of which we must bear the consequences.  But for many, it is just easier to blame others and not be accountable for their own actions.  A pathetic cop out if you ask me.  My ex is the KING of this action (and has the perfect Queen to accompany it, as she is a blamer as well).  They do typically walk this earth together, blamers.  I guess everyone deserves someone to commiserate.

So we will have our celebration!  Those friends and family that love and care for my son will be there and will love him through his send off.  They will hug our daughter and love and support her in her new journey.  They will kiss nugget on his chubby cheeks and smile when he hugs his daddy's neck.  Sweet, unconditional love.  Not obligated, not forced and CERTAINLY not mean or vindictive.  It will be a great event!

I feel much better now that's off my chest.  Now... on to the final planning!  I can't believe he is leaving in just 4 short months!  The time for him to board that plane will be here in no time.  Thank god we've got frequent flier tickets!

Happy hump day, friends!

Jen