As I consider the technology that has emerged in the past two decades, I know one thing to be absolutely certain. There is no way Hubs and I would be married.
When we met 20 years ago, neither of us had a cell phone. We both had actual land lines... the plugged in kind that hung in the kitchen with the 30 foot cord. As Hubs began to court me, he called me on the phone and we SPOKE. Shocker, I know, to the younger generation. He had a job at the time that required a significant amount of travel, taking him all over the country extending through weekends. It made our actual dating scene quite difficult (not to mention I was a single mom at the time). So we accommodated his schedule as best we could. We had standing date sessions on the phone, long after I put Bubba to bed and his work was complete. Many nights we sat on the phone for four hours at a time, listening to each other breathe into sleep. In fact it was not uncommon for me to fall asleep on the end of the phone simply because neither one of us wanted to hang up the phone.
It was romantic. It was alluring. It made me want him even more.
Hubs would call and give me his itinerary, including name and address of hotels he stayed. And to stay connected, I would buy him cards in advance of his trips. I would write out love notes and mail them before he would arrive, leaving an imprint of me in whichever city he happen to visit.
Upon landing back in Kansas City, he would always come to my house first before coming home... no matter the time. We would stand on my front porch at the end of our visit and hold each other for a long time. I often would cry when he would leave.
He had a value system I longed for (although at the time didn't realize it). He wouldn't stay the night with me as I had a son to wake up with in the morning. He always put my parenting responsibilities first.
He still does.
We are both so busy with parenting, sports and our careers. We rarely speak to each other during a day if at all. We leave texts unanswered many times during our busy lives apart.
As I watch the years unfold I often wonder if we only text each other what would have become of our relationship. Those hours on the phone helped us to really know each other, understand our hopes and dreams for the future and ultimately, fall in love. I'm positive the outcome would have been different had those been words typed in short hand on a cell phone.
I'm grateful we met the way that we did. My memories of us falling in love are some of the best moments of my life. The five months we dated before he proposed were filled with a growing friendship that would propel us into a love that would last forever.
Well, at least 20 years anyway. I guess there is still time for an annulment (since we can't use the D word in our house... EVER.)
To all my single friends trying to date in this crazy age I have one piece of advice. PUT DOWN THE CELL PHONE. Forget the Facebook messaging. Don't tweet about how you feel about another person. Oh, and in case you are wondering... this applies to all my MARRIED friends as well. PUT DOWN YOUR PHONES!
Just pick up the phone and SAY it to them. Better yet, look into their eyes. I have a feeling that might take you further than you can possibly imagine.
But what do I know?
Have a great Wednesday, friends!