July. This time 20 years ago I was completely stressed out of my mind. It was super, duper hot in 1993 - hotter than it had been in years. I had just been in what has become the worst car accident in my life with a great friend. I was busy at my first grown up job that I had been at less than a year. I was trying to potty train my son who wouldn't sleep unless it was in my bed. And I was about to be married... again.
It's no secret that Hubs is my second marriage. But what might be a secret is how we have managed to make it work 20 YEARS.
Yes, that's what I said. 20. At the end of this month, we will have our 20th wedding anniversary.
The way we met should tell you everything you need to know. Even if you don't believe in fate, destiny or soul mate crap, you should now. Because these two people were fated to be together.
The summer prior to our wedding date was a rough one. I had gone through a divorce and come out the other end, slightly scathed and bitter and most definitely sad. I felt like a failure. I was a tired single mom who back then didn't split custody 50/50.... I had the every other weekend gig with my ex branding me responsible to raise my son virtually alone. I cooked dinner with my toddler son and ate alone most nights, something unheard of among most 20 year olds. I had zero intention of dating anyone ever again let alone marrying anyone.
After deciding to co-habitate with a girlfriend, she along with two other friends decided the best solution to all of this was for us to take a trip out of town. We were completely broke so a camping / float trip was the most we lavish vacation we could afford. We were so excited!
After driving 3 hours away from home, we settled in a crazy party campground with a ton of people. The next day, we did the Missourah thing and floated down the river in our canoes, beers in tow.
We met some new friends as most hot girls do on a float trip in Missouri.
Amazingly later that night, we would discover these people lived 15 minutes from us. Strange given we were 3 hours from home. Maybe just a coincidence I suppose?
Against the advice of my friends, I gave a boy my telephone number. I kinda liked him. He didn't try to hit on me, he was quiet, unassuming and kinda funny. I liked to talk to him - he was pretty smart. So I thought if nothing else I would make a new friend.
He called me. We went out a few times. I met him at a friend's house on my kid-free weekends to relax and have some fun. And I always, always heard him (along with all his friends) talk about a "best friend" that I had never met or seen in the months I had known him. I thought it was weird that he had this great, fantastic friend that was never around.
One evening as I stood in the living room of one of these house parties I looked up to see a man enter the house that I had never seen before. He was confident, a little shy and wouldn't stop looking at me. He had a girl in tow but never even acknowledged she was there once they entered the house.
As I looked up from the radio and made eye contact with him, I knew right away. Cliche as it might sound, it's the complete truth. RIGHT AWAY, friends. Somehow, someday I would be with that man. I forgot all about the guy I was seeing. He forgot he was with someone as well. And we couldn't stop talking. His stare burned through me like nothing I had ever felt before. He gave me his entire attention like I was the most important person in the world, even though I had just met him. It was a night I will never, ever forget in my entire life. I gave him my telephone number and he called the next day.
A few logistics needed to be worked through but eventually, less than a month later, I was with that man... and still am.
I've asked Hubs many times what he felt that night when he saw me. A hopeless romantic at heart I longed for him to say he felt his soul move. Felt his heart flutter. Felt some amazing gravitational pull towards me.
Nope. His response has always been so simple.
"I thought you looked HOT."
Yes, girls... we make boys far more complicated than they really need to be. Sometimes it takes that simple spark to begin a life journey with the one you will love forever. Forget all those forced dating websites where everyone hides behind embellished profiles. Face to face, talking and laughter.... that's what makes the good stuff last.
Thank GOD I looked hot that night. Who knows what would have happened if I had on sweats and a pony.
But I think I know....
Happy 1st of July, friends!!