Ah, Mondays. My friends typically get bummed out by around 6 pm Sunday night, knowing Monday is coming. I'm such a planner that I love Sunday evenings, hence don't mind Monday's that much ~ the ritual of finishing up work clothes laundry, signing little guy's school paperwork, re-writing the weekly schedule on the fridge, setting up the coffee pot to brew at 6 am, etc. It's like a do-over for the week before, so I get a chance to do this week better than the last one.
This Monday is a bit different though. I feel a surge of panic, indecision, inconsistency. A lot of major decisions will be made this week and I'm nervous. If you know me at all, you know that change is exhilarating for me. I thrive on it. I am usually pretty "go with the flow". I don't feel so flowy today, however. The future is a bit unclear for a family member of mine but the decisions made this week will most definitely impact me in a big way.
So I'm a bit on the fence today. One of the most difficult things in the world I think is to be an objective, supportive, unconditionally loving person to those that you love even when you find yourself confused, uncertain and scared. It's the biggest feat we are given as parents as well ~ raise them to the best of your abilities and then love them throughout all of their life journey, no matter what.
I'm praying for strength today, to be courageous and put my own feelings aside. Something a mother is accustomed to doing but nonetheless, uncomfortable (especially for a fairly assertive girl like me).
Thank god I have the support of my hubs ~ I wouldn't make it through most of my journeys without him and he allows me to be crazy, confused and scared even when he thinks I'm nuts. Everyone needs someone who's GOT YOUR BACK!