Thursday, October 20, 2011

Strip Search

A person to remain nameless is taking on a huge adventure.... a new job that will be awesomely fantastic with travel experiences and great advancement opportunities. 

So to get this job, the application is around 50,000 pages long.  And exhausting. And intimidating.  Basically... it's a strip search.

Who have you ever known in your entire life?  Write down their name, address (current and former) and date and city, state of where they were born.  Who in the hell can do that?

Wait, it gets better.  Name your family.  Your ENTIRE family.  This person has a very fragmented family. BPs (biological parents) are divorced and remarried (one of them twice, the other one we lost count).  Name all of your siblings, your steps (step sibs), your halfs (half sibs), your adopted sibs, your foster sibs.  Some of them are married?  Go ahead and name their spouses and their kids and their stepkids, half sibs.  Oh, and write down their dates of birth and where they were born too. 

How many jobs have you had?  Let's do an anal probe into that as well.  Where, when, how long, what did you like, what didn't you like, why aren't you there any longer?  If you left, do you regret you left?  What would have been your career path if you stayed? (I didn't know you could have a career path at Hi-Boy... guess food manager there or something).

Not to even mention some of the scary questions relating to the actual job that is being applied.

I've been volunteering my time to this person to be of assistance but find myself being utterly useless.

Moral of the story:  KISS.  Keep it simple stupid.  If you do that then you never have to worry about filling out a 50,000 job application.  That and pray your BPs take that same mantra and don't get married 700 times and have a jillion kids between them.  I thank god EVERYDAY that I don't have to deal with that crap in my life anymore!  I would kill myself if I had to coparent with my ex any longer.

(Just as a footer ~ I MIGHT have a bit of difficulty exaggerating sometimes.  In case you want cold hard facts:  the application was 27 pages long.  With two additional addenda.  Yep, almost 50,000.)


1 comment:

  1. It took just as long to finish... Even with your awesome organization skills!