Come ON Already!

Ticket is bought.  Car is rented.  Take list is already started. 

And I still have 40 days to go.  FORTY.

Being 1,600 miles away from my west coast kids is killing me right now.  My daughter has started nesting and I find myself constantly shopping right along with her.  She's already threatened if we send her more girl clothes she's going to ship them back.

But it's so hard.  Have you seen baby girl clothes lately? 

Not Lentil's hiney....  or her name.

I find myself drifting off thinking of her sweet smell, her soft skin and her tiny cry.  I absolutely love babies.  They remind me what hope feels like.

But as excited as I am to finally meet her, I cannot wait for the few days alone with Nugget.  Snuggling on the couch.  Eating snacks we aren't supposed to have before dinner.  Getting ice cream again and again.  Playing tag in the house.  Making yummo's for momma for when she comes back home.

Ah, sweet heaven.

And I'm sure we will watch Cars, Toy Story, Finding Nemo, Wreck it Ralph and all other Disney movies a thousand times... in a row.  Because why wouldn't we?

Maybe even take an adventure ride since I'll have a car this time.  Who knows where we'll end up.

I have to admit though it will be a bit tough.  Instinctively I will want to sit and stay with Sassy telling her how beautiful our baby will undoubtedly be.  I will want to stroke her hair and tell her how beautiful she is.  I will want to sit with her, hold her hand and thank her for being the most amazing momma to my grandchildren.  It will be rough leaving her in the hands of the nurses.

Proof a momma's heart is never far away from their children.

40 days.  Forty.  I can do anything for forty days, including wait. 

Even though I am the most impatient woman on earth, obviously.

Have a great Tuesday!

Jen

AHHHHH.... Here come the Titans!

Football season.  Stinky cleats, parents cheering, sweaty pads, coaches yelling, grass stained pants and cool weather.

Wait, what?  90 degrees is NOT my idea of cooler.

This weekend we kicked off our season with our annual Jamboree, a practice scrimmage with other teams to get the boys warmed up and ready to hit the schedule.  This weekend was also reunion for us as we reconnected with boys and parents of previous teams over the past 7 years.

The Pirate boys will always remain in my heart the most.  The connection the boys made with one another, the friendships the parents formed and the camaraderie the coaches created will forever be an example to strive towards.  It is a bit gut wrenching to see those boys in opposite colors, spread out across the league.  Nonetheless, I feel pure joy watching them play knowing down deep that we may have had something to do with their developing athleticism.

It was a special group I will never forget.

For the Titan boys this weekend, we learned a lot.  We have a strong, solid defense.  We have an agile, intelligent offense.  We have all the skills and power force a team could ever need.  Little guy is super stoked, ready to fight.

Now we just need a little love.

Yes, I am a girl.  But I also know what it takes to bring the team environment together.  Trust in others.  The kind of "I've got your back, always" trust.  The "I'll run in before you and take the hit" trust.  Team before self.  Selfless, unselfish behavior. And a little love.

I picked up a stack of Redbox movies this weekend.  Last night, realizing we had one movie left we hadn't watched, we popped it in and hit start.

I commenced to cry for an hour and a half.  So did Hubs.

Football does so much more for the lives of young men than I will ever understand... especially when it is framed in the proper way.  A great coach can shape the lives of kids in one season almost as much as their parents can over the course of years.  Sometimes better.

If you haven't had a chance to see the documentary Undefeated, you should (whether you like football or not).  One of the most amazing coaches (and man) I have ever witnessed. 

Many of my tears fell as I prayed that my son is influenced by a man like that in his life (outside of the family).  We've already found one fantastic coach... what are the chances we could find another?

I hope and pray little guy's high school coach cares about him - really, really cares.  It will make all the difference in the world in the man he becomes.

Have a great Monday, friends.  It's gonna be a HOT week in Kansas City!

Jen

Gettin' it all Down

I opened my eyes slowly.  The sun was high in the sky and its warmth had already flooded my bedroom.  As As I rolled over I braced myself for the inevitable muscle ache that would undoubtedly pierce my body as I turned.  It's my new normal.  Each year I decide to train for a distance run I experience the multiple aches and pains that accompany an extended running schedule.

I felt an immediate need to write.  No topic in my brain.  No point I felt I had to make.  Just a yearning that I feel often but can rarely describe.  It's as if my fingers ache to hit the keys.

I used to spend hours filling loose notebook paper with my thoughts.  Scattered letters, poems and stories are stuck inside books, folders and boxes in my house.  They would make sense to no one but me.  I can't throw them away.  If disposed, some piece of my relevance on this earth would disappear forever.

I want to say thank you to all of you that read my blog.  Many of you are religious, opening every single post I write and commenting frequently with your opinions.  Most of you are silent readers, jumping in and out of my blog on occasion to catch up with my many ramblings.  And a small few of you actually anticipate my posts, looking forward to my rants as if to grab some small piece of sanity in my insane rants.  Whichever you are, I appreciate you.  I am inspired by you.  Your encouraging words and sometimes conflicting opinions help me see both sides of the complex coin of life.  They help me question my ingrained thoughts and grow in a way I wouldn't if I were closed off from others.

I have never written a single post for acceptance.  I don't reach out for approval from the folks that read my words.  That being said - I absolutely love when people approach me and comment on my writing.  Some posts have actually given advice inadvertently to friends struggling.  I strive to tell my truths, my vulnerabilities and my sometimes shocking successes.  I leave my footprint solely as a depository of my life events, my solutions and my failures.  A card catalog of the stages of my growth and setbacks.  A memory, if you will.

I wish I could have done it sooner.  I wish I could reach back now and see the words of that 14 year old who was scared, confused and often misdirected.  I would better understand my approaches to solutions now if I could feel what she felt back then.

Social media is flooded with teens and preteens spilling their guts to the world.  They typically sound crazy - unorganized emotions, priority conflicted and overall hot messes.  Totally normal to live in a fishbowl, right?  I want to reach out to them, tell them not to post stuff that makes them look nuts.  Then again.... I would give anything to peek back into myself back then.  Geesh, that girl needed some guidance.

So giant shout out to you peeps that muddle through my rambles.  As life continues to get busier for me I'm hoping to actually write more.  Clarity is ever needed at the height of a full schedule.  And clarity for me is achieved one of two ways:  writing and running.  Speaking of it's time to lace up.

Happy Saturday, friends!

Jen

FRIDAY FAVES!!

Friday, Friday, Friday!  WOO HOO!!  Looooong week at the Davis household.  School is in full swing, football practice is underway and our work schedules are haywire.

Welcome to the new normal!

The highlight of my week by far though was booking my flight out west for the babe's arrival.  I actually sat and teared up selecting my return date home realizing that my heart will ache for months to come I get home.  I fell in love with Nugget the minute I set eyes on him - before I even touched him, smelled his sweet baby scent or caressed his smooth baby skin.  Holding a baby you love makes your arms ache upon transfer to another's arms.

And now - I will have two little souls to fill my heart.  Two little ones, not mine but a part of me.  Being a Nana has been the most amazing experience.... one many tried to explain but I never fully got until the title was bestowed.

I am dying with anticipation.  My ADD is in high gear.  I can't stop thinking about what she will look like, how she will sound and how much she will be loved by everyone around her.

And I absolutely cannot WAIT to see E become a big brother.  He is the sweetest boy ever.  I know in my heart he will protect her forever.  I cannot wait to witness this perfect union.

Below are my faves for the week.  I will spare you the zillion finds I have pinned, bookmarked and tagged of the clothes, furniture and accessories for little lentil.  I'll tell you one thing:  this girl is gonna be SPOILED!

FAVE 80'S FLASHBACK

Ah... I love me some 80's music!

FAVE WHEELS

Speaking of 80's.... one of the first cars Bub's father and I owned was NOT a Corvette (but I do love the car below!).  But our car did have t-tops.  Ah... my first realization that I needed my hair to blow in the wind.  I absolutely loved that car.  Totally impractical for a newborn, we sold it for a newer car... that of course the top came off.  And so it began.... my love affair with being topless.

Ironically, later in my 20's I owned another car with t-tops.  I went to the car wash, took them off to dry off the car and ran over one of them forgetting they were on the ground.  Yeah - I need a much more PERMANENT solution!  I can't wait until little guy can take my mom car off my hands!

FAVE CUP O' JOE

Yep, I need this.  Although no warning needed in my house.  Hubs is WELL aware of my issues in the morning and he steps beautifully around them like a perfected dance.  He knows the level of my coffee beans, the milk and sweeteners better than I do most of the time.  He quietly purchases and replaces anything low without saying a word.  Because he's that kinda guy.

FAVE YUMMO

We have eaten our weight in blueberries this summer.   Salads, parfaits, desserts - everywhere we can put them.  So of course I fell in love when I found this yummo idea... dressing!  YES please!  Click here for the fantastic recipe ---->  Blueberry Balsamic Vinaigrette

FAVE FURRY FRIEND

With my upcoming travel and fall right around the corner, I couldn't help but fall in love with this little find.  Henry (aka Hank, Hank the Tank, Tank), our lovable grandfurpup, has stolen our hearts.  Okay, mine anyway.  He is an awesome buddy except when he's being bad.  Sounds like the rest of our family!  I wonder how long I could get him to sit still to wear this awesome find?

FAVE DESTINATION

Florence, Italy.  Been in my dreams for decades now.  I would love to watch the sunset in that beautiful city. Someday.

FAVE SPACE

My love of all spaces tiny began when I was a little girl.  In my 3 bedroom, 1 bathroom family home I grew up in my parents, siblings and I had a very small hall closet just outside the bath.  It was a smaller door than our standard sized doors in the house and after some home remodeling, had a sloped, carpeted floor in the bottom.  The space was VERY small and was left unused.  Unless, of course, you count me.  I spent many, many moments inside that little space with the door closed.  Hiding from my brother.  Hiding from my mother.  Finding quiet.  I guess in those moments I became comfortable with the snug surroundings and my yearning began.  Hence my adoration for lofts!  The swing is just an added bonus!

FAVE FASHION

Bring on the jeans!  The plaid!  The boots!  Yep, this girl is ready for some cooler weather.  I love layering, snuggling and wearing my fave casual clothes.

Yep, bring it on!

FAVE MOTIVATION

I actually said this out loud to myself this week.  I had a crappy mid week run - it was humid, I was tired and not properly fueled and I really didn't want to go.  So I made a zillion excuses during my run that my legs were tired.

Little did I know it was all in my head.

As I pushed around the corner of my street after 2+ miles feeling totally energetic, I had to stop and admit to myself that it had always been in my head.  A runners worst enemy is their own mind.

Gotta remember this during my upcoming training!

FAVE ONESIE

Okay, I know I said I wouldn't do it but I just can't help myself!  Little Lentil absolutely REQUIRES this in her wardrobe.  Yep... my next purchase.  Sorry, Sassy!  I know you said no more clothes but seriously... who could resist?!?

Happy Friday, friends!

Jen

FRIDAY FAVES!!

Ah, routine.

Back to school.
Football practice.
Baritone practice.
Homework assignments.

We are in the full swing of fall already in our home, even on the third day of school.  Little guy absolutely loves routine... it is when he is at his optimum performance level.  He desires clear expectations, realistic goals and constant communication.

Isn't that what most of us desire?

I love this time of year.  The consistency, the cooler weather and of course, the return of all of my television shows!

It makes me want to organize.  To pull out all my fall decorations.  To plan Thanksgiving dinner.

But before all of that fun stuff.... we have a BABY on the way!  We are squeezing in on 8 short weeks until Little Lentil arrives and changes our lives.  I'm already in love and I haven't even met her yet.  I dream about her all the time.  I want to squeeze Sassy every single day for creating our beautiful grandkids.  I cannot wait to board that plane and head west.

Soon, friends.  And I'm sure pictures will flood every media outlet I have.

For now, below are my fave finds from around the interweb.  Expect these too to change when our little bundle arrives.  I cannot stop perusing beautiful dresses, cozy leg warmers and bows galore.  I LOVE BEING A NANA!

Enjoy, friends!

FAVE REMINDER

This one is for my west coast kids.  Well, any parent, really.  It's sad to think this way but so, so true.  Enjoy your time with the kiddos - it truly does fly by!

FAVE TRAVEL DREAM

It's obvious I dream of Spain.  When I saved this pic on my computer I noticed I had four other pictures just like this one.  My niece studied abroad in college in Spain and her pictures always took my breath away.  Yep, I gotta find a way to go someday.

FAVE LIGHT

Everyone knows how much I love candles.  I could torch an entire country with the amount of fire I have in my house.  These cute guys totally grabbed my attention.  What an awesome way to repurpose!  My only concern?  Catching fire to whatever spot they land (i.e. deck, tables, shelves, etc.)  Davis already thinks I'm going to burn the house down so I'm pretty sure these would be outlawed.  They are still awesome!

FAVE PLACEMATS

I love setting my table with cool stuff.  These guys are just adorbs, especially for the fall.  I'm thinking at a minimum I need to make a runner for my sideboard.  Yep, love 'em!

FAVE YUMMO

As summer starts to close, 'maters are totally necessary on our menu.  I love the giant beefsteaks we find at our little neighborhood farmer's market.  How good would these sammies be?  Gotta make them! Oh, and Davis has PERFECTED homemade mozzarella.  Yep, I'm one lucky girl!   Click here for the recipe ----->  Cheese Sammies

FAVE TRUTH

'Nough said.  LOVE this.  I know several severely insecure people that really need to heed the message below.

FAVE FASHION

As the cooler weather moved in this week, I started scouring my closet looking for some sleeves.  This is PERFECT for transition weather.  I'm thinking I would live in this if it were in my closet!

FAVE FINDER

Awesome.  I would put my sunglasses in it, too.  Forget reminding little guy where his stuff is (which is EVERY single thing he owns, every single day).  I need this for mornings where I literally run out of the house forgetting half of my stuff!

FAVE CELEBRATION

Davis and I have accumulated a zillion race bibs and medals over the course of the last four years.  They are slung over everything in our closets.  What an awesome way to display them and remind ourselves of all our hard work (and great fun!)

FAVE SWEETS

Although it's a bit early, I cannot get enough of pumpkin spice flavoring.  I absolutely LOVE this part of fall. So of course I fell all over myself when I spotted these yummos.  Seriously?!  I think I might have to whip up a batch before the actual start of fall.  LOVE them!  Click here for the recipe ----> Pumpkin Spice Cookies

Happy Friday, friends!

Jen

On the Road Again

One month from now the training will begin.

Hubs and I are going to run another half marathon.  This time together.  Our last attempt ended tragically when I decided to slide down a fire pole at Warrior Dash and injure both legs.

Let's try not to do that again, shall we?

I'm always better when I'm training for something.  It clears my mind, tones my body and makes me feel invincible.

Sure, it's hard.  But it's always amazingly rewarding.

My fave time to run is actually my lowest points of vulnerability.  There is something magical that happens when I am filled with self doubt, lace up my shoes and hit the road.  Clarity comes to me every single run.  I formulate plans, make goals and mentally high five myself at the end of a run.  Even when they are just a few short miles.

I'm excited to get started.  Our lives will endure much change and excitement over the course of the fourth quarter this year so I can't imagine a better way to celebrate than with a healthy mind and body (and the new hardware hanging on my board won't hurt either!)

I intend to blog on my runs, especially the most successful ones.  I hope I don't bore you to much.  Honestly, taking written note of my successes and failures is what keeps me on track to move forward.  It's my "to-do" checklist, per se.  If you've never had a training schedule before, here is a glimpse at mine!

 Yep.  Easy peasy.  Now I just have to get out and book the miles.

I am excited to run with Hubs again.  After a many month hiatus with a super sore case of plantar fasciitus, he is finally healed.  Well, enough to run anyway.  So off we go.

What are you plans moving into fourth quarter?  How will you remain fit and healthy through the holidays?  Sound off - I'd love to hear your ideas!

Have a great Sunday, friends!

Jen

Keep it down, Davis.

Bite your tongue.
Hold your breath.
Not another peep.
Don't say a word.
Keep it to yourself.
Turn on your filter.

If I had a dollar for every time I either thought these to myself or had someone gently remind me of them, I would be a very, very rich woman.

I am by far the least confrontational woman on the planet.  I will not confront anyone except maybe my family.  I hate it with a passion.  Worse yet - when I am terribly passionate about something it makes it impossible to hold in.  And when I blow, which I do on rare occasions, it usually ends up badly for me.  I can't articulate my point correctly because my emotions are overflowing.  I've typically let it bottle up way longer than it needed.  I breakdown, cry and often times say very hurtful things.  And I honestly just want to run away and hide.

I find myself there again.

It takes everything I have to keep it still.  I can't breathe sometimes when I allow myself to think to much.  It's a big unresolved and I'm not even sure at this point how to begin to approach it.

Do you ever feel this way?  What are your coping mechanisms, friends?  How do you tactfully confront someone?

I rationally know the absolute best way to resolve it is to just sit down, discuss it openly and go from there.  But I'm fired up.  I'm on edge.  I'm defensive, even though I really don't feel I need to be.  Therefore I can't move forward.  It's as if I'm paralyzed in time.

It makes me sincerely regretful of my inability to proceed.

I have found myself here few times in my life.  Most of the time my resolution is to just remove the source of the problem.  End the relationship.  Never look back.  And in all honesty, I usually don't regret that path.  Well, most of the time I don't.

Unfortunately, it doesn't always make me feel better.  Although the source of conflict is gone I still feel a nag that I left something unresolved.

I have a million opinions.  I can articulate my hopes, dreams, desires and goals fairly easily.  I express my dislikes, worries and anxieties without much trouble.  Well, to the right people.

It's disappointment, dissatisfaction and failure that are a little rough on me.  I usually don't tell people when they hurt me.  If my food isn't cooked correctly, I never send it back.  When people promise things and let me down, I brush it off as if I don't care.

But I do care.  All of us care.  I'm envious of my friends that can just say the words.  Tell the people around them they aren't happy with the outcome of something.  Because they let it out, it doesn't fester and they resolve how they feel about others.

I wish I was more like that.  I wish I wasn't so intimidated to confront people.  I wish I could better articulate how I feel sometimes.

Proof we are all a work in progress.

Happy Saturday, friends.

Jen

FRIDAY FAVES!!

August already.  No dog days here, at least not yet.  High of 75 today... of course with a zillion percent humidity again.

Welcome to Kansas City.

With the cooler weather, I cannot help but daydream of the fall.  It is by far my fave season of the year.  Living in a climate that allows us to enjoy all four true seasons, this one takes the cake for me.  Cool, crisp, sunny days.  Shorter, hoodie ridden, fire pit nights.

And of course, the school year.

I wish as adults we had the ability to start anew every fall.  The smell of fresh crayons.  The cushion of a brand new pair of tennis shoes.  The excitement of wearing a brand new outfit every day.

Maybe we should try it just once.  I bet we'd have an entirely new perspective on the upcoming bustle of the holiday season.  Which by the way a friend commented this week is only 20 weeks away.  AHHH!

Below are my faves from the interweb the past few weeks since I took hiatus and only posted my personal pics.  Hope you enjoy!

FAVE FASHION

I found myself obsessed with white shorts this summer  to the extent I found four pairs in my dresser this week.  Apparently a girl can never have to many pairs.  Well... this girl, anyway.

FAVE SOCIAL MEDIA FUN

Okay, I admit it.  I'm old but I totally love Instagram.  What a fab way to catch up with friend's stuff without all the DRAMA that exists on Facebook and twitter.  I totally dig it.  By extension, I take tons of pics (or what I think may be classified as tons although many of the peeps I follow WAY outpost me!)  I find myself cross posting them though to Facebook because I am afraid I can't organize them and keep them forever.
Voila!  Now we can keep them permanently.. on our fridges!  Click this link to find out how! --> Instagram Magnets

FAVE YUMMO

What screams summer more than watermelon?  How about a watermelon salad with balsamic vinaigrette?  Um... YES PLEASE.  Click here for the recipe!  ---->  Watermelon Salad

FAVE JAMS

I love being a mom.  When I have a really successful day (as in I haven't killed little guy), I feel ever powerful as if I have triumphed the day.  What better than to slide into these awesome jams!  I'm wondering if that powerful feeling would translate into the morning routine as well?  Either way - I gotta have them.  ALL OF THEM!

FAVE TRANSPORT

I would absolutely love to go here.  Chandelier Tree, Leggett, California.  But what better an experience than in a kick ass VW Bus.  Oh man, I totally see channelling Little Miss Sunshine.  Just hope nobody dies on the trip!

FAVE KICKS

I've never really been a brand name kind of girl.  I dress for comfort most of the time, quite frankly.  But these babies.... oh what I wouldn't do to have these just for one outing.  Then I'd have to promptly sell them for the shame I would have in owning something so extravagantly expensive.  Yep, I'm cheap like that.

Manolo Blahnik... you are my hero.

FAVE FUNNY

This is Bella.  Not the picture, the action.  She cannot wait to climb up onto our bed, turn around three times and land her hind quarters square in the middle of Hubs' pillow.  Yep... his.  Not mine.  Probably because he is sleeping on my side of the bed and she knows it.  She's super smart like that.

FAVE BLING

Oh please... I totally have to have this.  I may have found my new love.  I already love all things anchors and infinity but this may beat those.  For now, anyway.  At a minimum I think my Book Beotches may need this on their fingers.

FAVE TRUTH

As we shop for school supplies this weekend, I can't help but take note of the zillion of old supplies still laying around our house.  My little guy is training to be on Hoarding and I'm certain he will take the cake.  The boy saves every scrap of paper he has ever had as specials - things he wants to remember.  I'm not sure where he got that skill (at least my writings are online now!)  So this weekend I will smuggle out all his old crap that is broken, doesn't work or doesn't fit to make room for the new.  And as usual, he will try to hang onto it all.

FAVE TRAVELS

Oh Brazil, how I long to be with you.  You open my heart and mind to true relaxation. I totally want to come and see you and experience your beauty.

Have a fabulous weekend, friends!

Jen

Kickin' it in the 'Sac

Although our summer hasn't officially come to an end, you wouldn't have known that this past weekend.  My neighbs and I threw our fourth annual End of the Summer Party in the 'Sac, a new tradition we have established to end the summer and kick off the new school year.

And party we did!  The four of us have been together now going on five years and we always have the best time together.  We have become quite the social directors of our 'hood!

 

By my calculation, we had 15 families come through the four hour (or so) event.  The laughter of the kiddos as they slid down the giant water slide was music to my ears.  The sun was shining brightly, the food was plentiful and the parents even had a chance to kick back and relax a bit.

We added a face painter this summer and I think she was a big hit.  The kiddos (mostly the girls) seemed to watch in awe while everyone was painted up. 

 

Best way to end a summer if you ask me.  Little guy was ecstatic (and SORE, slept all day on Sunday).

Of course in my true fashion I missed the "after party".  After way to many diet cokes, I had to hit my own sack early.

A GIANT shout goes out to the house sponsor of our annual event.  Without this fabulous couple we would be in a world of hurt throwing this together (with no land, electricity, water or restrooms!)  You guys are the BEST!!

       

Of course, none of the fun would be had without this crazy group of kiddos.  We are so blessed to have them happy and healthy.  Life is really good.

 

I hope you enjoyed your summer as much as we did.  Next up:  get their butts back in school!
Jen

Relax... Don't Do It

The past two weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions.  Wrapping up the baseball season, beginning football, our 20th celebrations and school starting in less than 2 weeks have completely emotionally drained me.  One would assume lows are all that wipe out a person physically but the highs in life have the same effect, specifically when piled upon one another.

I'm joyfully spent.  It's the best feeling ever.

Today I want to write.  I want to wrap myself and little guy in the softest blanket we own and sit on the couch watching John Hughes movies.  I want to take a nap in the middle of the afternoon with my Hubs.  I want to dive into my new book club read.

I want to choose to be lazy, allow myself the down time and not feel guilty about it.

This is a very difficult task for me.  I am always on the go, completing task after task always looking forward.  I don't stop much at all, certainly not for myself.  But I also know what happens when you don't stop enough - someone seems to help you out with that.

A friend of ours has encountered a stop - a pretty big one.  A busy, busy person with many balls in the air was recently in an accident.  He wasn't even hurrying - quite the opposite he was attempting to relax and enjoy life.

He's slowing down now, at least for the time being.  Because it isn't his choice.  I am thinking about him today, his encounter and how very lucky he is to still be with us.

I stop to reflect from time to time how fast I'm moving.  How many commitments I have made.  How much life I try to jam into small spaces of time.  I'm ever cognizant of living in the moments, trying to see clearly my life experiences as they are happening.

Today, the dishes can wait.  The laundry can wait.  The chores will still be there.  Sure, it may force me to double up my efforts when I conceivably won't have time but I am certain it will be worth every single moment.

Yep... certain of it.

Enjoy your Sunday, friends.  Hope you have time to relax!

Jen