Thursday, February 14, 2013

I Want You... to want me.

It's the love day, finally!  Cupid is in the air.  Everyone is a bit kinder, hugging and and loving on each other.  Facebook is flooded with pictures of couples kissing, balloons, flowers and heart treats of all kinds (as a matter of fact I DO want red velvet heart shaped pancakes, thank you very much). 

Couples have scrambled midweek to buy each other tokens of love and appreciation.  Media has encouraged us all to give, give, give (aka buy, buy, buy).  Pinterest has dedicated entire boards to Valentines Day showing us gals what we need to be crafting, cooking and wearing.

Yep.... me too.  I've done it all as well.  See - even changed my profile pic:

But what is this holiday really all about?  Shouldn't we show love every day to those we care about?  Just as church sometimes is to the EC group (Easter and Christmas), is this one of those holidays where the DEED is required (oh, you know the one).  Birthday, anniversary and Valentines Day.  That should cover it, right?

Uh... NO.  Not me, anyway.

Yes, we are gonna talk about SEX.  Click the big X in the corner right now if you need to get away fast.  No worries, I'm keeping it PG13.

A fellow blogger had some awesome perspective on this topic today, so I have to share it.  She is incredible - if you are interested in another great blog I encourage you to follow her.  I can relate to almost everything she writes, which is rare for me.  Here is a link to her blog ----->  We are THAT Family.

In a nutshell girls, sex is NOT all that men want.  Okay, sure they want it.... but it's not ALL that they want.  We should give them a little more credit than that.  The official act may be fantastic but they are actually attempting to get a little bit more out of the experience than we may think.  Here... maybe these will shed some light on the topic.

“Women, this might surprise you, but even more than your husband wants to have sex with you for his own sexual relief, the truth is, he wants to please you even more than he wants to be pleasured. It might seem like it’s all about him, but what he really wants, emotionally, is to see how much you enjoy the pleasure he can give you. If he fails to do that, for any reason, he’ll end up feeling inadequate, lonely, and unloved.” -Dr. Kevin Lehman, Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage

“And believe it or not, getting enough sex isn’t the point. Nearly all the men surveyed – 97 per cent – said that even if their wives agreed to have sex every time husbands wanted, sex would still be empty if their wives didn’t seem to desire them.
When we say no to sex, we’re usually saying we don’t want sex at that moment. But he hears the much more painful message that we don’t want him. One man said, “When she says no, I feel rejected. ‘No’ is not no to sex; it’s no to me as I am.” By contrast, making the first move once in a while sends a powerful and affirming message to your man.” -Shaunti Feldhahn, For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men

Or my version, which is much easier to comprehend quickly.  Cheap Trick nailed it a LONG time ago. 

I want you to want me. 
I need you to need me. 
I'd love you to love me. 
I'd beg of you to beg me.

For your listening pleasure, click here --->  I Want You to Want Me

Girls - our men want respect.  They want us to love them unconditionally.  They want us to listen to them.  And they want to feel wanted, both in and out of the bedroom.

I'm certainly not the perfect woman, nor am I the perfect wife.  Heck, I'm not a perfect person in any realm of my life!  But I do strive to remember the simplicity of a relationship....  Give and you shall receive.  It truly is that simple if you tear away all the other stuff that knits it together.  Care for one another and make sure your partner knows exactly what you want and need.  Only then can you achieve a perfect balance.

Tonight somewhere between basketball practice, homework, housework and Grey's Anatomy, I'm going to work on that.  If I'm not to tired.  Or bloated from eating my beautiful Christopher Elbow chocolates hubs left for me this morning.  Damn I'm spoiled!

Happy Valentine's Day, friends!  I love ya!


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