Monday, February 06, 2012

A Sailor's Momma

It's starting to catch up with me that Bubba is leaving in 4 months.  I'm so excited for his journey and couldn't be more proud.  That being said, I'm filled with uncertainty.  What momma isn't when their child takes on a new adventure?

I know in my heart this is absolutely the very most perfect path for my son.  He has always been resourceful.  By age 4, my buddy had figured out that if he wanted to take a toy with him while riding his big wheel all he needed to do was tie it to the back of his bike with a rope and drag it.  Now I don't know everything there is to know about proper knots, but suffice it to say they were impossible for this mom to untie!

By 7, he was a typical boy waging wars with the neighbor kids.  He played sports of course but his outside time was usually strategic and not just tag.  

I've mentioned before that one of the most influential men in his life other than hubs happened to be this crazy, loud redheaded football coach that just HAD to be an ex-Marine (although I don't know that for certain).  He was a YELLER.  Motivated the boys by optimistically barking orders.  Bubba thrived - he loved that environment.  I can't figure out why they didn't translate at home when I yelled at him :). 

To top it off, my son is filled with a strong moral code.  Not necessarily a religious one, although that is engrained fairly heavily due to 3 years of confirmation and 4 years of Lutheran high school.  He has an amazing sense of what is right and what is wrong.  He expects everyone to behave appropriately and is often frustrated when someone oversteps those boundaries.  Pretty black and white.  Now THAT he gets from me.  I have always been a yes or no type of girl, not a maybe.  

The structure of the military and the strong moral and ethical code is going to be a perfect fit for him.  Physically, he is a ROCK.  He will thrive by strong leaders that expect more from him.  It is a perfect path for him.

The rest of us?  Well... that may be where I get a bit anxious.  For me personally, it's not the physical demands on my son that I am concerned about.  It certainly isn't the world conditions that are concerning at this moment.  It's his departure.

When your kiddo gains age, parents mentally and emotionally prepare for the day that they are going to send them off to college.  They may go somewhere close or they may go far away.  Either way, there will be a separation to contend with but they have so many conversation outlets:  telephone, email, text, skype, facebook, twitter.  If they want, they can talk to their kids everyday by some medium.  And a lot of my friends do just that.

Not me.  I won't be able to do that.  There it is ~ that's the clencher.  When he leaves, I won't be able to talk to him.  Sure at first it's only a couple of months but upon completion of those two months, he has apprentice school and then gets stationed.  Not in Missouri.

Bub has been married almost 4 years now.  He hasn't lived at home for longer than that.  But I can always pick up the phone and so can he.  We still talk almost every day.  My heart feels a bit heavy this morning thinking I won't be able to do that whenever I want.

And this doesn't even address my daughter and grandson.  I can't even blog about that just yet.

I know this... I will need my friends and family to help me stay focused on this awesome opportunity and encourage me with positive words, especially on days when I'm down.  I'm sure June will be a heavy month for all of us.  I am in the midst of planning his going away party with my daughter and although it's going to be a blast, I can't help but think I will tear up all night long (which I do NOT want to do).  I will try to move my emotions and give him all the love and support a momma should give their kiddos.  

I just need to stay focused and remember the long-term rewards of his decision.  There are so many!!!

Have a great Monday, friends!

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