Tuesday, September 11, 2012

The Accountability Factor

Accountability has become completely overrated in our society.
Before I even start writing, know this.  I AM NOT PERFECT.  I am so far from perfect it isn't even funny.  I make mistakes.  A LOT.  I say things I don't mean or sometimes say things I mean but not in a very nice manner.  And sometimes my words or actions hurt others ~ both intentionally and unintentionally.  I'm blunt, to the point and say what I think.
But I'll say this:  when I do, I own it.  It's my responsibility.  And the consequences to every action I take are also my responsibility.  And they are never, ever someone else's fault.  I choose to open my mouth, to say what I say and to do what I do.  Even if it is in direct response to someone else's actions or words, it is still MY RESPONSIBILITY.
Apparently there are millions of people that think differently.  They walk the earth blaming everyone else except themselves.  It cannot possibly be their fault for their actions.

How is that possible?  And how it is possible that things are NEVER their fault?
I teach both of my kids that every single word they speak is theirs to own, forever.  Once it comes out, it belongs to them.  They made a choice to say it.  Were they antagonized?  Possibly.  Were they defending themselves?  Could be.  But no matter what the reasons to open their mouths, they chose to react.  Their reactions belong to them and nobody else.  They get to chose to how to respond to others.
This extends to actions as well.  If you get invited to something and you don't go, it's on you.  If it hurts the other person, you have to own it.  You CHOSE to either be sorry or not and you choose to tell them you are sorry or you don't.  Either way, each single step belongs to you.
I see this happening around me all the time.  Someone recently chose to remove me from their life and then consequently they are angry with me for not inviting them to an event.  I chose not to invite them because they chose to no longer speak to me.  Seems to be an easy equation to me:  if you don't want me involved in your life, then I won't involve you in mine.  I'm not sure where the breakdown in understanding is but apparently I am at fault.  The accountability is mine that I didn't invite them and I own that.  Other than that, I don't owe them anything further until they own their piece of the equation. 
I simply do not understand people that do not understand their actions have consequences.  This seems such a basic understanding to me, something we are taught in preschool.
Believe me, I'm well aware.  I've made decisions that have garnered consequences.  Sometimes not such fun.  But I get it ~ I made choices.  They are mine to own.
I wonder what the world would be like if people actually took responsibility for their actions and stopped the blame game?  If you truly couldn't point your finger any longer at another human being for the things you say and do and were forced to look inward, what would you see?
Food for thought.
Happy Tuesday, friends!


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