Thursday, April 19, 2012

The Glamorous Life

Home at last!  It's a miracle... 72 hours in a minivan.  And not just any minivan... I think it is the biggest minivan on the market, if that's even possible.  What an oxymoron.

I took out on Tuesday with a coworker to see a client ~ you know my glamorous career causes me to visit exotic places like Bridgeton, Missouri and Granite City, Illinois.  Hold your jealousy, friends... I know how envious you can be.

My poor coworker.  I hope she comes back to work tomorrow after having to endure me for that length of time.  If she didn't know me before the trip she sure as hell knows me now!  7 straight hours in one day in the car will do that.

My week started out fairly normal.  Regular Monday with a run and even time to blog, busy day at work then straight to Enterprise to pick up my rental.  "Ma'am (remember to come back and kill the 22 year old Enterprise worker), I hope you don't mind driving a minivan this week."  "Um, yes... I actually do mind" I say as nicely as possible.  Flash a flirty smile... "Don't you have anything like a Charger?  That's what I rented last month."  "No ma'am (kill shot), all of our standard cars were rented on Sunday and this morning to our business travelers, thus only leaving the returned weekend vehicles.... which are all minivans."  Poor kid starts sweating.  I'm sure he can tell I am less than pleased about this option.

"Okay, that's fine... I'll take the silver one please" I say curtly.  He checks me out in 5 minutes, shakes my hand nervously and then runs into the building.

So I sit in the minivan in the parking lot.  You have GOT to be kidding me.  I've driven for (ahem) 24 years now and I have never owned anything remotely close to this size of car.  Even when Davis had the Explorer I never drove it.  And it sure didn't have a third row of seats!

I head to pick up my coworker and realize I can't see a damn thing on any side of the car.  Apparently they forgot to tell me the entire vehicle was a blind spot.  Fantastic.  This is going to be one hell of a week.

I had one awesome destination run in fabulous Florrisant, Missouri on Wednesday morning (basically looking exactly like Kansas City...)  After our work and lunch were complete, we head to our afternoon appointment.

Oh my god.  I didn't realize we needed hazard pay in the insurance industry.

If you have never been to Granite City, Illinois, this may be hard to picture.  It's not really industrial, like much of western Illinois.  But it's not really a "community" either.  It's tired.  Maybe a little old.  I'm not sure any new commerce has been in the community in years.  Maybe a McDonald's or something.  And our client is smack dab next to a house... which sits in their parking lot. Yes, you read that correctly.  This house sits right in the middle of a parking lot, with no other house neighbors on either side or front/back.  It's alone, in between two brick buildings.

Let's see if these visuals help... make sure to notice there are no other houses around!

So suffice it to say, even though we parked our van next to a BMW, we were still uncomfortable about our surroundings.

Off to Peoria, IL, another 2 1/2 hours north, to visit another client.  Not realizing there was a State Farm convention in town, we land the only hotel rooms available in a 1970's porn hotel.  Yep, old, worn out light oak furniture with brass lamps.  It was awesome.  At least it was clean... sort of.

We have arrived safely at home, only slightly scathed from our trip.  We still like each other (at least I still like her).  Hopefully she will come back to work tomorrow.  One can only pray.

Happy Thursday, friends!  


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