Sunday, December 25, 2011

Do you Deserve?

Most of you know that I am FAR from materialistic.  I don't have to wear certain brands, flash shiny bling, boast the latest gadget or earn braggin' rights on anything I own.  I get that from my southern Missouri, simple parents that grew up with just what they needed and nothing really more and I'm quite comfortable in my station of life.  I work for what I have, provide with hubs for the family and earn my keep in my home not sitting around waiting to be waited on.  One of my biggest faults though is feeling undeserving.  I get doses of that from time to time, especially when life is going well for me.

Yesterday we had our Christmas celebration with Bubba, girlie and buddy and my in-laws.  I don't even know why I refer to them that way any longer, it's been almost 20 years since they accepted me into the family!  Mom and Dad are always so good to me.  

As they were leaving yesterday afternoon after a wonderful day of festivities, Dad told me he was proud of me.  Proud of the wife I am.  Proud of the mother I have become.  Blessed to have me in his life.

I shook it off at the moment ~ frankly I was a little bit embarrassed.  I said "No Dad, I'm the lucky one".  And I meant it.

Meeting hubs was quite unintended, to say the least.  The chances of meeting in life without the circumstances in which we met are about 1 in 1,000,000.  He was in a relationship, I was dating someone.  Cliche' as it might sound, when I met him I knew he was the one.  Instantly.  I had NO plans to marry.  Quite the contrary!  I had no plans of ever remarrying after my first marriage and certainly had no plans to give Bubba a stepdad.  That entire concept was foreign to me at that time ~ not even an option.  I just figured I'd date when I had a chance and find happiness with Bubba, my friends and my family. 

Hubs tells me that when he met me, he also knew.  How can that be?  I was still in the midst of an 18 month divorce process, had a 3 year old son, was in the process of moving in with my mom because my roommate and I couldn't make it work (she was single with no children, so not her fault but in a different phase of life) and I had nothing.  Literally nothing.  My perception of him at that time was that he was from a wealthy family, had a beautiful car, worked a serious job (traveled 26 weeks a year, unfortunately), wore all brand name clothes and couldn't possibly have an interest in me.  I was wrong.  Thankfully.

We were introduced to each other in August.  By October we were dating.  He proposed to me on December 23rd.  We were married the following July 31st.

19 years later, I still can't believe it.  Sure, we have had a zillion arguments.  We've tried to go War of the Roses on each other about a million times.  We've made thousands of mistakes.  We have both been unforgiving hundreds of times.  But we realize something really important:  we were meant for each other the day we met and still are today.  Besides, who else would want either one of us at this point?  I guess I am deserving of it!

I am blessed for the opportunity to build my life with my best friend.  I love ya, hubs... can't wait for the next 20 years, hopefully in the Tiny House!  Merry Christmas!

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