Old is NOT an Age

I swore to myself that when I entered into my 40's, I wouldn't change a thing.  I was going to feel the same, be the same and act the same as I did in my 30's.  I'm 4 months in and completely different already.  Crap.

For starters, I have actually caught myself saying things like "when I turned 40, I had my cholesterol checked and it's high: and "did you know the leading cause of death for women over 40 is heart disease?"  Great ~ I'm old.

I do not want to be defined by my "conditions".  God knows I already had a slew of them BEFORE turning 40!  Except I don't really consider my ADD a condition... it's more of it's own personality trait, one which I choose not to medicate or change.  Helpful for my sales profession.

But I am also concerned about impending diseases, like Alzheimer's or Dementia (both of which I swear I have most days).  I can walk upstairs in my house and by the time the 25 stair climb is complete, I have totally forgotten what I went to get.  I spend HOURS looking for items that I "put in a special place so I wouldn't lose them."  Twice this week I have left the office with my rings sitting on my desk (after I've already misplaced my mom's wedding ring that I've been wearing for the past 15 years).  Overall, I'm sort of a disaster lately.

I think I need some more yoga in my life.  Quiet time to center and focus.  Calm the inner child in me that is always so hyper and dying to get out.  I'm running a lot more so that does seem to help.  I just hope I can yoga into my 70's.

I unfortunately passed this awesome trait down to my oldest son as well, poor buddy.  The good news is that he isn't straddled with my anxiety and worry as well, so he only has the "hypermind" like me.  And no, he isn't medicated, either.  He has figured out how to embrace it just like his momma.

I had a meeting this week in which I rode as a passenger, not as the driver.  The driver was quite a cautious driver (insert laughter now, because I am often easily distracted while driving).  He drove 30 miles to our destination with an average speed of 52.  In a 65.  I honestly thought I was going to jump out of my skin and could not WAIT to get out of the car.  I seriously wanted to Laura Croft his ass and jump onto his right leg to push down the accelerator.  But I didn't. 

I have known a lot of people (and still do) over the age of 50 that complain.  A lot.  This hurts, this is acting up, I can't do this anymore.  I don't ever, EVER want those words to drop from my mouth.  I refuse to allow my body to give out on me.  If something is wrong, I will fix it.  I won't be restricted from living.  And if I have lost my mind, someone better strap me down somewhere because if my body is still good, I'll be out.

Random thoughts on a Thursday... it happens.  Hope you can keep your thoughts straight today!

Jen