Friday, November 18, 2011

Hyper Hypo

 When I was six years old, momma took me to our family doctor for a special visit.  In all fairness, I should probably start by saying she was tired.  She was REALLY tired.  I am the baby of four with a 14 year age span between my oldest sib and me.  In addition to raising a teenager and a baby (which I TOTALLY can relate), my momma was also the primary caretaker for my sister.  My sis is 6 years older than me, the third in line in our fam, and was born with cerebral palsy.  She was wheelchair bound by 12 and lived in our home until that time.  When I reflect on the struggles my momma went through to raise us four kids, I'm astonished she wasn't a total alcoholic.  Or a nut case.  Which some days might have been debatable.

My visit with Dr. Dempsey Sr. was a pretty simple one.  Momma told him that I wore her out.  Shocker.  I"m sure hubs would still agree with that comment.  She gave him I'm sure the story that a lot of parents deal with today. 

Jenny won't sit still.  She never stops talking.  She bounces all over the place.  Every second I turn around, she's in the front yard turning cartwheels.  Up on the wheel, as hubs calls it.  I love being compared to a hamster.

His diagnosis?  No big deal... she's hyperactive.  Hmm.  Hyperactive.  What the hell is that?  I'm sure my momma wanted to bawl.  So what am I supposed to do with her?  She wears me out!

Give her activities.  Challenge her constantly.  Provide a consistent, structured lifestyle.  She will adapt and be fine.

That was it.  No drugs.  No therapy.  No changes.  Just advice to help guide my energy.

I can only imagine as my momma stuck me in the car what was going through her head.  How in the hell am I going to do this?  I'm tired, doesn't anyone know that?

Her solution?  She quit being a stay at home and went to work.  Hee hee... the thought makes me giggle today.  She didn't really give up, but she knew she needed to separate from me to be a better person, a calmer mother.  Able and ready to handle me.

I think it mostly backfired but I did accomplish one thing:  I learned how to channel my energy.  I've formed my energy level into determination.  And it worked.

Now it wouldn't be fair unless I admit that sometimes my energy level can be a tad bit destructive.  When I'm out having fun, especially with a few friends and cocktails, I NEVER want to stop, go home and go to bed.  When I do find a new hobby I want to pursue, I'm all in.  No half way here. 

I know that in today's terminology, I would be categorized as ADD.  Whatev.  Show me a sales person that DOESN'T have ADD (a successful one, anyway).  There is a certain drive and multi-tasking capability that must exist in order to push through a sales process.

I've learned to grasp what I am, my strengths and deficiencies, and work through them.  I wish our kids today could have that same opportunity without being pumped with a zillion drugs.  Yes, I know they work.  Bubba has the same tendencies as I and with medication he made it through school.  Maybe he would have anyway if I hadn't pumped him with drugs?  He hasn't taken any for four years now and has enlisted in the Navy with a clear future path.  He goes to work everyday and performs as a normal adult without any alterations. 

Oh well ~ add it to the pile of uncertainty in parenthood.  Someday I'll figure it all out.  When they are grown and gone. :)

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