MY SOUL STEPS: My Son... the Sailor

I'm writing this ahead (of course.. most of my posts are) so that I can do it while my head is level.

Jeremy leaves today for the beginning of his trek to boot camp. Tomorrow he will board a plane after he re-swears in and we take pictures of the process. As of 9:00 pm tonight, the military officially own my son's freedom for the next 4 years. Wow. Talk about sacrifice.

I am a complete walking contradiction when it comes to politics in this country. I call myself a liberal conservative, whatever that means. Basically I want my cake and eat it, too. I want the government to stay OUT of my business. Don't tell me what to do, don't tell me what to wear, don't tell me to pay taxes (and how much) and don't set the rules by which I have to live by unless they are specifically for my safety. Oh, and it's MY body.. I'll do what I want to it.

On the other hand, public programs are good, too (well, some of them). We should take care of each other (a little). I'm just not totally convinced that the government needs to TELL me to take care of my neighbors. Because if I'm worth a crap at all, I would do that anyway.

I digress.

My point is that I have always looked at "government jobs" as a total cop out. Not very hard workers. "Government hours". To many vacation days. Free (and fabulous) benefits for LIFE. And the list goes on and on and on. Yep, I'm an ass.

But I don't look at the military that way. At least not anymore. Sure, maybe some people think going into the military will give you a steady paycheck, but I highly doubt that is why they stay. They make long term commitments (I wonder how long any of us would make it if we actually had to sign a contract stating that we would stay at OUR jobs for 4 years or more (no matter what happened) or get thrown in jail? I doubt many of us would). In short, they sacrifice.

Bub is making a HUGE sacrifice. Not only is he doing this for our freedom, our country and everything therein. He is doing this for the betterment of his family. His wife. His son. Even though they too will be making sacrifices for him and moving around the country with him.

I'm so proud today. And so sad. I will miss him so much.

A few years before my momma died she informed me that she wanted to move 160 miles away to live with my Grandmother. She said she wanted to spend time in her hometown, with her sisters and her mother. She knew my Nana's time was limited and wanted to be with her. I totally get that. But I was so incredibly sad. I saw my mom every single day before that time... EVERY SINGLE DAY. I couldn't imagine her moving away from me, even though I could get there is 2 1/2 hours.

I told my husband at the time one simple fact: if she moves away, she will never come back. And she didn't.

I don't think my son will come back either. I truly don't. Once he gets in, he will fall in love with this way of life. He absolutely loves challenge and structure and respects our military so much. He won't come back.

I shared my fear with Davis one morning last week upon waking (and crying). He wiped my tears and said one simple comment (again): I'll go with you wherever you go.

It was exactly what I wanted and needed to hear. It's not that I have to go anywhere but just the simple thought that if I needed to be closer to my son, I could was exactly what I needed to know.

I'm so blessed that he cares so much for me and my relationship with my son. And I know he will miss him just as much as I do.